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/emo/ Miss Eri in Manehattan, chp 1

By NHanon
Created: 2020-10-23 18:49:18
Expiry: Never
dark/emo/miss erideep restconnie amore

  1. 1.
    >”Eri do you need some help packing?”
  2. 2.
    >You see Rest poking her head into your room.
  3. 3.
    “Nah, I’m good. Just need to figure out what else to bring.”
  4. 4.
    >She smiles.
  5. 5.
    >”I don’t get how you didn’t figure this out sooner.”
  6. 6.
    >’Because you’re a lazy piece of shit.’
  7. 7.
    >Shoving the thought to the side for now, you focus back to deciding.
  8. 8.
    “Just distracted I guess.”
  9. 9.
    >”Well alright, I’ll be down stairs if you need me.”
  10. 10.
    >You listen as she leaves and her hoof steps descend down to the living room.
  11. 11.
    >Slowly, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.
  12. 12.
    “Just pack what I need, that’s all...”
  13. 13.
    >Sure, you’ve got some clothes, hoodies mostly, Connie said it can get chilly at night in Manehattan.
  14. 14.
    >But you want to bring something else, something a little more personal.
  15. 15.
    >Your eyes wander over to your desk, your book sitting there.
  16. 16.
    “Who knows, might feel the need to write.”
  17. 17.
    >’Yeah fucking right, more pathetic words for you to wallow in Eri?”
  18. 18.
    >Ignoring the thought again, you pick up the book and another stray thought joins the previous.
  19. 19.
    >’Something personal? How about what’s in the second drawer, that should help.’
  20. 20.
    >Your heart beats a little harder as your eyes settle on it.
  21. 21.
    >Slowly, you open it up, a pack of open razors sit there, waiting for you.
  22. 22.
    “I...I shouldn’t...”
  23. 23.
    >’Take one, you know you want to.’
  24. 24.
    >You shudder as pick one up, its metallic glint reflects in the dim light of your room.
  25. 25.
    “Not like I’m going to need it.”
  26. 26.
    >Before you set it back, you get a sudden change of heart and place it in your book.
  27. 27.
    >You take a pencil and a few bandages as well.
  28. 28.
    “Why am I doing this?”
  29. 29.
    >’Because you know deep down, that you will need it for when you cut yourself.’
  30. 30.
    >Shaking your head, you finish packing and take one final look at your room.
  31. 31.
    >Your eyes look over the room once more, it’s so plain, but it’s yours.
  32. 32.
    “I’ll be back soon...”
  33. 33.
    >Not like you’re leaving forever, but you’re still afraid.
  34. 34.
     
  35. 35.
    >As you reach your living room, you see Rest sitting on the couch, reading a book.
  36. 36.
    “I-I’m ready.”
  37. 37.
    >She quickly turns her head to you and smiles.
  38. 38.
    >”Good, sure you got everything?”
  39. 39.
    >’How about a life? You don’t have one of those.’
  40. 40.
    >You give a fake smile, if only to hide the thoughts.
  41. 41.
    “Yeah, pretty certain. Not like we are going to be there that long.”
  42. 42.
    >Rest nods and sets the book inside her saddle bags before putting them on.
  43. 43.
    >She gets up and brings her own suitcase to her side.
  44. 44.
    >”Well then, shall we get going?”
  45. 45.
    “Mhm.”
  46. 46.
    >Your anxiety is flaring up, but you’re trying to silence it.
  47. 47.
    >The two of you head out the front door and you close it behind you, taking your home in.
  48. 48.
    >It’s still pretty run down, though Rest has been helping you fix it up.
  49. 49.
    >’That’s a lie, it’s more of her doing the work and you’re sitting around you disgusting freak.’
  50. 50.
    >Shaking your head, you see Rest looking at you with concern.
  51. 51.
    >”Eri?”
  52. 52.
    “I’m fine, just feeling my anxiety going up.”
  53. 53.
    >”Are you sure you want to still do this? I know Connie asked you, but if this is too much, I’m sure she will understand.”
  54. 54.
    >’How about it Eri? Just give up like you always do.’
  55. 55.
    >Fuck off.
  56. 56.
    “Y-yeah, I need this. It’s a step to getting better, like you said.”
  57. 57.
    >Rest smiles and nods.
  58. 58.
    >”Of course. Don’t forget though, if you feel like you’re losing it, just tell me, alright?”
  59. 59.
    >She has said this so many damn times now, it annoys you a little, but at least she is trying to be helpful.
  60. 60.
    >You nod and the two of you start to make your way to the station.
  61. 61.
    >Funny how far you have made it thus far, thankfully both Connie and Rest have pulled you out of your shell.
  62. 62.
    >Now of course, Connie asked if you would like to come to Manehattan.
  63. 63.
    >At first you were terrified, but then after talking with Rest, you realized this was to help you.
  64. 64.
    >Thankfully Rest agreeing to come along helped out a lot.
  65. 65.
     
  66. 66.
    >When you wrote Connie back, she understood and sent two tickets.
  67. 67.
    >She even said she would meet you both at the station, that hasn’t quelled your fears though.
  68. 68.
    >Manehattan is huge in comparison to Ponyville, and with vastly more ponies.
  69. 69.
    >As you approach the train station, you see a few ponies pass by and some are even waiting around.
  70. 70.
    >Your eyes dart to the ground, don’t want them to look at you.
  71. 71.
    >Sure Connie and Rest have helped, but you still are having trouble.
  72. 72.
    >The damn thoughts still torment you and occasionally, you cut to make things quiet or to feel.
  73. 73.
    >It upsets Rest, but it’s not like you can stop.
  74. 74.
    >Don’t want the thoughts to get ahead, never want them to be right.
  75. 75.
    >That doesn’t stop when they are though.
  76. 76.
    >You’re pulled from your thoughts as you feel somepony touch your wither.
  77. 77.
    >Shooting your head up, you see Rest is the one touching you.
  78. 78.
    >Fuck, didn’t realize you were that deep in thought.
  79. 79.
    “I’m fine Rest, don’t worry.”
  80. 80.
    >Like many times before, she can see right through you.
  81. 81.
    >”You can tell me the truth, it’s okay.”
  82. 82.
    >Small part of you wishes she couldn’t really read you so well.
  83. 83.
    “I’m thinking about the past, and how this is a big step for me. Plus being around all these ponies doesn’t help too much, but I’m trying to push past that.”
  84. 84.
    >She nods and pulls away her hoof, you kinda wish she didn’t, it’s not often another touches you.
  85. 85.
    >’Desperate much?’
  86. 86.
    >Go fuck yourself.
  87. 87.
    >”How about we find a seat and wait till the train gets here?”
  88. 88.
    “Sure.”
  89. 89.
    >Rest leads you to a bench on the far side of the station, away from other ponies.
  90. 90.
    >Slowly, you feel yourself calm down, not completely, but it’s a start.
  91. 91.
    >Time passes and you play around with your suitcase, not much to do.
  92. 92.
    >Looking over, you see Rest reading a medical journal, not too surprising.
  93. 93.
    >She notices and lowers the book before smiling.
  94. 94.
    >”Guessing you’re bored?”
  95. 95.
    “Kinda obvious isn’t it?”
  96. 96.
     
  97. 97.
    >She closes the book and faces you.
  98. 98.
    >”How about we talk then? Good way to pass the time.”
  99. 99.
    >What the fuck do you have to say? It’s not like you two don’t talk enough.
  100. 100.
    >…
  101. 101.
    >Well, not like you tell her everything, just most.
  102. 102.
    “How has work been?”
  103. 103.
    >’Wow, how original, did you think of that yourself?’
  104. 104.
    >Not now dammit.
  105. 105.
    >Rest looks a little surprised.
  106. 106.
    >”Not too bad I suppose, though it’s surprising that you want to actually hear it.”
  107. 107.
    >You almost never let her talk though, so that’s not that shocking.
  108. 108.
    >She continues.
  109. 109.
    >”One of the highlights was tending to the foal’s wing, they can be so darn cute.”
  110. 110.
    >She has a twinkle in her eye as she talks.
  111. 111.
    >”Some of them were born there as well. I love hearing their stories, they never cease to cheer me up. Even when I have to deal with a terminal patient, I try to remember seeing their happy faces.”
  112. 112.
    >At the mention of ‘terminal’ she starts to get a somber look on her face.
  113. 113.
    >Great, now you brought up bad memories.
  114. 114.
    >”While it does pain me greatly to see them suffer, I try to carry on for them.”
  115. 115.
    >She shakes her head and looks back to you.
  116. 116.
    >”I’d rather not dwell on that now, how about you?”
  117. 117.
    “Um...I have been trying to write more.”
  118. 118.
    >”Oh? You’re working on something new?”
  119. 119.
    >If you call writing down your thoughts new, then sure…
  120. 120.
    “Just playing around with ideas. Seeing what sticks.”
  121. 121.
    >Liar.
  122. 122.
    >Rest nods.
  123. 123.
    >”I look forward to seeing what you write as always Eri.”
  124. 124.
    >As she smiles, you hear a distant train whistle.
  125. 125.
    >You feel your pulse rise, it’s been a long time since you’ve rode a train.
  126. 126.
    >”Sounds like it’s just about time.”
  127. 127.
    >Slowly you nod and grip your suitcase a little tighter.
  128. 128.
    >Just remember, you can do this, you can get through this Eri…
  129. 129.
    >The whistle grows louder and you two stand up.
  130. 130.
    >Rest puts away her book and pulls her suitcase closer to the platform with you joining her.
  131. 131.
     
  132. 132.
    >Sure this is scary, but you’re looking forward to seeing Connie again.
  133. 133.
    >That thought alone makes you calm down more, especially knowing Rest will be here to help you.
  134. 134.
    >The train slowly lurches into the station and other ponies are approaching as well.
  135. 135.
    >Some to greet friends or loved ones, others to get aboard like you two.
  136. 136.
    >As expected, when the train stops and the doors open, many ponies exit with their belongings.
  137. 137.
    >You can see Rest keeps looking at you from the corner of her eye.
  138. 138.
    >’Are you really going to rely on her that much? How old are you Eri?’
  139. 139.
    >Old enough to tell you to fuck off.
  140. 140.
    >’You can’t rely on others forever, you have to handle things yourself eventually. NEVER forget that.’
  141. 141.
    >As you’re about to argue with yourself, you see Rest moving forward, so you follow closely.
  142. 142.
    >You enter the car with her and look around.
  143. 143.
    >Some ponies are already seated and even talking.
  144. 144.
    >Others like you two, are finding their seats and places to put their luggage.
  145. 145.
    >However, being this close to so many is making you really nervous.
  146. 146.
    >Why now? Why do I have to be so damn broken?
  147. 147.
    >You bite your lip and try to fight against the nerves.
  148. 148.
    >Thankfully Rest finds a seat for you two, and you plant yourself next to the window.
  149. 149.
    >You let out a slow breath of relief and look around again.
  150. 150.
    >Rest is getting your tickets checked with the conductor and sits down.
  151. 151.
    >Glad she didn’t see you losing it.
  152. 152.
    >”You okay?”
  153. 153.
    >And you almost didn’t notice her looking concerned either, answer her.
  154. 154.
    “Yeah, still a little nervous, but I’ll be alright.”
  155. 155.
    >She nods and pulls out the book again to read.
  156. 156.
    >Might as well find something to do as well other than bothering her.
  157. 157.
    >You open your bag and pull out your own book.
  158. 158.
    >Same black cover, same heart, same you.
  159. 159.
    >Just as you open it, a familiar object falls out.
  160. 160.
    >Shit! You forgot your damn razor was in there.
  161. 161.
     
  162. 162.
    >You scramble to pick it up before Rest sees it.
  163. 163.
    >Fortunately she doesn’t see it, but does notice you moving about.
  164. 164.
    >”Did you drop something?”
  165. 165.
    >Hiding it under one of your hooves, you give her a smile.
  166. 166.
    “Thought I did, it’s alright though, just some lint.”
  167. 167.
    >She smiles back and goes back to reading.
  168. 168.
    >Too fucking close, as you grip the steel, it bites into your hoof a little.
  169. 169.
    >Not enough to cut, but it’s uncomfortable.
  170. 170.
    >Idiot, why’d you bring this?
  171. 171.
    >’You know why Eri.’
  172. 172.
    >Not again.
  173. 173.
    >’Sooner or later, you will fuck up, like you always do. When that happens, you’ll be thankful you have your habit to keep you sane.’
  174. 174.
    >As if.
  175. 175.
    >’You will see.’
  176. 176.
    >Shaking your head, you slip the razor back into the book and put it away.
  177. 177.
    >The train starts to move, and you decide to watch the scenery instead.
  178. 178.
    >Should’ve brought something to read, but that doesn’t matter now.
  179. 179.
    “It’s so pretty.”
  180. 180.
    >”What? Oh, the scenery? Yeah I guess it is.”
  181. 181.
    >You don’t bother to see if she is actually watching, instead you stay focused on the outside.
  182. 182.
    >However, you feel it start to lull you to sleep.
  183. 183.
    >Can’t sleep here though.
  184. 184.
    >Grabbing your suitcase, you get up and see Rest look at you with a raised eyebrow.
  185. 185.
    >”Something wrong?”
  186. 186.
    “Feeling tired, gonna fall asleep if I sit here any longer.”
  187. 187.
    >”Oh alright, this is going to be a long ride after all. We won’t reach Manehattan till tomorrow, want me to wake you for anything?”
  188. 188.
    >You shake your head and start to move past her.
  189. 189.
    >”Alright, get some sleep Eri, we have a long day ahead of us.”
  190. 190.
    “Yeah, I’ll try.”
  191. 191.
    >As you pass by the other seats, you ignore the other ponies, just focus on the destination.
  192. 192.
    >It’s not so easy, there are several cars to pass through until you reach the sleeper car.
  193. 193.
    >Thankfully there is no pony in there at the moment.
  194. 194.
     
  195. 195.
    >You find a bed and bring your suitcase close, not like somepony would steal it, but don’t want to take that risk.
  196. 196.
    >It doesn’t take long for sleep to take you.
  197. 197.
    >You’re awoken after what feels like mere seconds.
  198. 198.
    “Wha-huh?”
  199. 199.
    >Groggily you open your eyes to see Rest.
  200. 200.
    >”Sorry to wake you, but we are about to reach Manehattan.”
  201. 201.
    “Wait, what? How long did I sleep?”
  202. 202.
    >She smiles.
  203. 203.
    >”Pretty much the whole day.”
  204. 204.
    >Not surprising, you’d rather sleep forever rather than ever get up again.
  205. 205.
    >Rubbing your eyes, you sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn.
  206. 206.
    >”I’m going to head back to my seat, see you there.”
  207. 207.
    >As she trots out, you grab your suitcase and bring it with you.
  208. 208.
    >You feel so groggy, don’t you get enough fucking sleep?
  209. 209.
    >’Why would you? You do nothing all day, except for cry or cut yourself.’
  210. 210.
    >Letting out a small groan, you try to ignore the thoughts on your way back to your seat.
  211. 211.
    >You join Rest and see the city out the window.
  212. 212.
    “Wow...”
  213. 213.
    >”Yeah it’s something else, nothing like Ponyville.”
  214. 214.
    >It’s terrifying, the buildings are so much taller and more cramped.
  215. 215.
    >Some of the stars are out and the sun is no where to be seen.
  216. 216.
    >The train slows down as it reaches the station and you feel your anxiety rise.
  217. 217.
    >This is it, you’re in another city, even if it’s just visiting, you’re actually here.
  218. 218.
    >You and Rest wait while the other passengers leave, allowing you both to be the last to depart.
  219. 219.
    >Just as you step outside of the car, you hear an all too familiar voice.
  220. 220.
    >>”Eri!”
  221. 221.
    >Connie quickly rushes to give you a big hug.
  222. 222.
    >It overwhelms you, and you can’t say a word.
  223. 223.
    >She pulls back with a large smile.
  224. 224.
    >>”I’m so happy to see you, glad to see you made it safely.”
  225. 225.
    “Y-yeah, you too.”
  226. 226.
    >”Ahem.”
  227. 227.
    >You both look over to Rest.
  228. 228.
    >>”I didn’t forget about you Rest, it’s just that it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Eri. The fact that she actually made it out here makes me so happy.”
  229. 229.
     
  230. 230.
    >”Fair enough, you said something about us staying with you?”
  231. 231.
    >Connie nods and starts to lead you two away from the station.
  232. 232.
    >>”Of course, I wouldn’t ask my friends to stay at hotel when they could stay with me for free.”
  233. 233.
    >She really is too generous, but then again, Connie has always been a source of happiness.
  234. 234.
    >Wish you could be that happy, even for a fraction of the time.
  235. 235.
    >Connie hails a taxi for the three of you, her and Rest start to talk.
  236. 236.
    >As for you, you’re pretty tired still.
  237. 237.
    >You zone out along the way.
  238. 238.
    >”We’re here.”
  239. 239.
    >Snapping out of it, your rub your eyes.
  240. 240.
    >The three of you head up to the apartment, but as you close the door behind you, you let out a yawn.
  241. 241.
    “Alright, I think I’m going to go to bed, I’m really tired still.”
  242. 242.
    >>”Oh okay, I understand Eri. Can’t imagine this has been easy on you.
  243. 243.
    >Yeah, she can say that again.
  244. 244.
    >>”I’ll show you the guest room and let you settle in.”
  245. 245.
    >You nod and follow her to the hallway.
  246. 246.
    >This place is pretty nice, shame you’re so damn tired.
  247. 247.
    >She opens one of the doors and heads back towards the living room.
  248. 248.
    >>”Goodnight Eri, talk to you in the morning.”
  249. 249.
    >Letting out another yawn, you barely mumble out a response.
  250. 250.
    “Yeah...You too Connie.”
  251. 251.
    >As you reach the bed, you set your suitcase beside it and climb under the covers.
  252. 252.
    >The comfortable bed quickly pulls you into a peaceful slumber.

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