GREEN   284   0
   1684 9.29 KB    146

BiE 77: The Best Kind of Diplomacy.

By Mandroid
Created: 2020-12-19 12:58:54
Expiry: Never
anonocslice of lifesaferainbow dash/aie/

  1. 1.
    =BiE 77=
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >Year 268 in Equestria.
  4. 4.
    >You stomped your way through the embassy.
  5. 5.
    >Why did she have you do this?
  6. 6.
    >There had to be somep0ny better qualified for this.
  7. 7.
    >Dammit Celestia, I'm a logician, not a diplomat.
  8. 8.
    Are we really a logician?
  9. 9.
    >It sounds better then "Royal problem solver".
  10. 10.
    >"They in?" You asked the receptionist.
  11. 11.
    >"Third door on the left, sir." She said.
  12. 12.
    >Brilliant.
  13. 13.
    >You walked down to the number room you were instructed.
  14. 14.
    >You opened the door and spotted three Griffins sitting at the table inside.
  15. 15.
    >"Gentlemen, how do?"
  16. 16.
    >The lead Griffin grunts. "We have been waiting here for over an hour."
  17. 17.
    >Idiot meeting planners.
  18. 18.
    >"Yes, bit of a clerical mix-up. At least you had a good view."
  19. 19.
    >You motion to the large window overlooking the valley underneath Canterlot.
  20. 20.
    >If you squinted, you could see P0nyville in the distance, expanding after all these years.
  21. 21.
    >You throw your file onto the table and flip it open.
  22. 22.
    >"Now let's see what we're here for, huh?"
  23. 23.
    >The Griffins glare at you as you peer over the file. The idea that a diplomat wouldn't come to a meeting fully prepared with the information about what he's there for was inconceivable to them.
  24. 24.
    >Well screw the lot of them, you weren't planning on behind here.
  25. 25.
    >"Increased troop deployment along the border? That won't do at all."
  26. 26.
    >The Griffins feathers shift as you pull out a seat.
  27. 27.
    >"Alright gents, let's chat."
  28. 28.
     
  29. 29.
    >Cut to FOUR DAMN HOURS LATER.
  30. 30.
    >These Griffins were being right assholes about all this.
  31. 31.
    >You asked nicely, they shot you down.
  32. 32.
    >You offered to ease trade tariffs, they refused.
  33. 33.
    >You told them you killed Discord and they laughed in your face.
  34. 34.
    >The chair you were leaning in was balancing quite well as you leaned back on it in silent contemplation.
  35. 35.
    >These Griffins were stone cold serious. Each of them was wearing solid armor across their chest, as well as a plumed helmet and a single gauntlet on their right talon.
  36. 36.
    >Wait, single gauntlet?
  37. 37.
    >"What's with the gloves?"
  38. 38.
    >The Griffins snort. "You're asking about our apparel now?"
  39. 39.
    >You nod. Not in the mood for questions.
  40. 40.
    >They all three hold up their talons. "We are each a member of the Wind Raiders. The founder of our organization lost his talon in a raid by an anonymous chariot many years ago, and spoke of a creature he had never seen before doing it. Now, all Wind Raiders wear a gauntlet over their talon as testament to his sacrifice."
  41. 41.
    >Griffin lost a talon.
  42. 42.
    >Chariot attack.
  43. 43.
    >Mystery attacker.
  44. 44.
    >Well, this isn't weird at all...
  45. 45.
    >One of the Griffins snorts. "This ape wastes our time. Better to simply leave then to spend the entire day asked about what we wear by Celestia's lapdog."
  46. 46.
    >'Lapdog'?
  47. 47.
    >Okay, that was it.
  48. 48.
     
  49. 49.
    >You lean forward and let the chair slam against the floor.
  50. 50.
    >"Alright birdies, let's talk."
  51. 51.
    >The lead Griffin speaks up. "I think we're don h-"
  52. 52.
    >"When I said "let's talk" I meant "I'm talking". Besides, you're gonna want to hear this."
  53. 53.
    >The Griffins sit back down, placated a bit.
  54. 54.
    >"You Griffins are the masters of the sky, right? Surely you've had to deal with dragons every now and then."
  55. 55.
    >The lead Griffin nods. "Of course."
  56. 56.
    >"And surely you've heard of the oldest and angriest of them all, Grougaloragran, right?"
  57. 57.
    >The Griffins exchange glances before they nod.
  58. 58.
    >You reach into your file and pull a map of the Griffin kingdoms out.
  59. 59.
    >"Well, here's the deal. We stole his egg. And we hid it in one of your cities."
  60. 60.
    >The Griffins eyes go wide as you point to the map.
  61. 61.
    >"Now, we have it hidden from his senses by a spell, but that spell can be turned off at pretty much any time."
  62. 62.
    >You meet the Griffins eyes as you drop your voice down.
  63. 63.
    >"If you walk out of here without promising to remove your troops from the border, or breathe a word of this to the High Jarl; that spells goes down, Grougaloragran senses his egg, and he burns half your kingdom to the ground to get it back."
  64. 64.
    >You swear you could see sweat dripping through their feathers. "You have no honor." They said.
  65. 65.
    >"I also don't have something a big pissed off dragon wants hidden underneath a couple hundred thousand of my citizens lives."
  66. 66.
    >You rise from your seat and head for the door, leaving the Griffins to contemplate your words.
  67. 67.
    >"Get your troops away from my border, or I just might lower the spell anyway."
  68. 68.
     
  69. 69.
    >You slammed the door behind you and walked down the corridor.
  70. 70.
    >Ha. Idiots.
  71. 71.
    >Griffins were too honorable and Klingon-esque to consider the fact that the diplomat they were speaking to might in fact be lying through his teeth about a threat too big to ignore, even if they had never heard of the dragon before.
  72. 72.
    >They'd fly home and get the troops away from the border before spending a ridiculous amount of time trying to find an egg that didn't exist.
  73. 73.
    >You stepped out into the sun and thought about what to do next.
  74. 74.
    >Might as well give Celestia a report on the meeting and then...you don't know, spit off the wall or something.
  75. 75.
    >You walked down the street towards the castle.
  76. 76.
    >The years had been...decent to you.
  77. 77.
    >You hit a rough patch for a long while after Lotus died, you admit that.
  78. 78.
    >Anon had eventually helped you drag yourself out of it and do something with your long life.
  79. 79.
     
  80. 80.
    >You walked down the road and saw a light show from the Arcanium that would put Pink Floyd to shame.
  81. 81.
    Speaking of Anon...
  82. 82.
    >Anon had taken to the Grand Magisters position like white on rice after Twilight had died.
  83. 83.
    >Even now the city was running more efficiently as he reworked the leylines.
  84. 84.
    >Thought's of Twilight brought you down the path to the rest of the old gang...
  85. 85.
    >Pinkie had been the first to go after Rainbow, all those years of partying finally catching up to her.
  86. 86.
    >She had made you all promise to wear party hats to her funeral.
  87. 87.
    >Fluttershy went after her, passing away quietly in her sleep.
  88. 88.
    >Rarity had lived with Blueblood for a while before she became a household phrase in the world of fashion. You think you were wearing one of her coats...
  89. 89.
    >Applejack had opened up her own orchard out west. The last time you had seen it, it had gone on past the horizon.
  90. 90.
    >Twilight had been the last to go; as the Grand Magister of Canterlot, with a special gravesite in the royal gardens.
  91. 91.
    >You looked down a familiar path in the park.
  92. 92.
    >Well...maybe not the last one.
  93. 93.
     
  94. 94.
    >You decided to cut through the park on your way to the castle.
  95. 95.
    >You came here often.
  96. 96.
    >Sequestered just off the main path was a statue that you had commissioned.
  97. 97.
    >But it wasn't a statue.
  98. 98.
    >It was an antenna.
  99. 99.
    >And it was sending a message.
  100. 100.
    >Derpy and Dinky hadn't been at Rainbow's funeral.
  101. 101.
    >They hadn't been around for years.
  102. 102.
    >A little after Dinky graduated from school, the entire family had just vanished.
  103. 103.
    >Dinky, Derpy and Mr. Hooves.
  104. 104.
    >It didn't take an idiot to figure out what had happened, you probably should have just been glad he held off as long as he did.
  105. 105.
    >You were rather choleric for a few weeks until you came up with the idea for this antenna.
  106. 106.
    >It was off the main path, sitting in the middle of a small clearing with a straight line of sight into the sky.
  107. 107.
    >Anon had helped you rig it up to broadcast a message into space every ten minutes.
  108. 108.
    >Every ten minutes for the last 200 years.
  109. 109.
    >Anon was the only one who knew why you did it. He had assured you that a couple of mana batteries would keep a short message broadcasting for millennia.
  110. 110.
    >"Take care of them."
  111. 111.
    >That was all you had the message say. A simple request of the one who had taken over protecting them now.
  112. 112.
    >You popped the cover off the antenna base and ensure that everything was in working order.
  113. 113.
    >Satisfied, you rose to your feet and looked into the sky.
  114. 114.
    >"They better still be there, Time Lord."
  115. 115.
    >You turned back and headed for the path.
  116. 116.
    >You'd come back next week to check on it again.
  117. 117.
     
  118. 118.
    >You walk through the castle to Celestia's room.
  119. 119.
    >The door opened before you reached it and a mountain of a stallion stepped out.
  120. 120.
    >He made Big Mac look like a colt.
  121. 121.
    Fucking hell...
  122. 122.
    >You recognized him as one of the guards who patrolled the North wall at dusk.
  123. 123.
    >"Soldier." You said as you passed.
  124. 124.
    >"Sir."
  125. 125.
    >You stepped into Celestia's Bastion of Horror's to find her sitting at a beauty desk in the corner.
  126. 126.
    >You peer back at the stallion as the door closes.
  127. 127.
    >"So, can you just unhinge your jaw or something? Or is there magic at play here?
  128. 128.
    >"I'm willing to bet that magic is the reason you aren't gagging on the smell of musk right now, if that's what you're asking."
  129. 129.
    >Celestia turns her head to you. "How did it go?"
  130. 130.
    >"Despite being seriously out of my element, I was able to lie to the diplomats. They'll probably be pulling their troops out within a week."
  131. 131.
    >Celestia eyes you. "You heard them say that, did you?"
  132. 132.
    >"I inferred from their faces."
  133. 133.
    >Celestia grunts and turns back to her mirror. "I hope you're prepared to stake Canterlot's security on that Mous."
  134. 134.
    >"Nothing a little assassination of a High Jarl can't fix. We can use that crossbow I stole once."
  135. 135.
    >Celestia pulls the comb through her hair. "Let's exhaust diplomacy first."
  136. 136.
    Right...only a matter of time before the High Jarl is the one you catch walking out of here.
  137. 137.
    >"Well, I've got a lot of nothing to do. Don't hurt yourself, Sunshine."
  138. 138.
    >"Send in the next one~!" Celestia calls behind you.
  139. 139.
    Gross...
  140. 140.
    >You meet a stallion headed for Celestia's room on your way out.
  141. 141.
    >"Here to see the princess?"
  142. 142.
    >He silently nodded.
  143. 143.
    >"Something came up, she's busy for the rest of the day."
  144. 144.
    >The stallion looked disappointed and trotted away.
  145. 145.
    Ha.
  146. 146.
    >You were such a dick.

BiE 1: Introductions

by Mandroid

BiE 2: Train, pains, and narcissism.

by Mandroid

BiE 3: Exposition and espionage.

by Mandroid

BiE 3.5: More trains, soon to be back pains.

by Mandroid

BiE 4: Home Improvement.

by Mandroid