- 
                                            1.
                                            > Be Santa Mare
 - 
                                            2.
                                            > You should be glad that so many ponies have been good these past years
 - 
                                            3.
                                            > And you are, but it also means that you have a huge stockpile of coal with nowhere to go
 - 
                                            4.
                                            > You stopped your parasprite minions from mining the stuff years ago
 - 
                                            5.
                                            > You needed the extra labor to keep up toy production
 - 
                                            6.
                                            > You sigh, stretching out the ol' withers and flank
 - 
                                            7.
                                            > Well, it's that time of year again, better check the lists
 - 
                                            8.
                                            > Nice list is literally a mile long
 - 
                                            9.
                                            > Yeah, you're only checking it once
 - 
                                            10.
                                            > A parasprite bumps into you, helpfully carrying a little slip of paper
 - 
                                            11.
                                            > Naughty List, blanks as alw-
 - 
                                            12.
                                            > Hold up
 - 
                                            13.
                                            > Who is Anonymous?
 - 
                                            14.
                                            
 - 
                                            15.
                                            > Be Anonymous, pretending to sleep
 - 
                                            16.
                                            > In your time in Equestria, you've noticed ponies are unbelievably gullible
 - 
                                            17.
                                            > You feel a little guilty about the"gotcha nose" incident, and that time with the thumb trick
 - 
                                            18.
                                            > Luckily, you convinced them it was all a dream, so now it's Luna's problem
 - 
                                            19.
                                            > Which brings you to now, where you are lying in wait for whatever Santa equivalent little horse land has
 - 
                                            20.
                                            > Stocking?
 - 
                                            21.
                                            > Hung like a horse
 - 
                                            22.
                                            > Tree?
 - 
                                            23.
                                            > Twinkly and ribboned up
 - 
                                            24.
                                            > Plate of cookies and glass of milk?
 - 
                                            25.
                                            > The absolute best chocolate chip cookies you can make from the recipe on the chocolate chip bag
 - 
                                            26.
                                            > And an oatmeal raisin cookie, because you can
 - 
                                            27.
                                            > Milk in a wine glass
 - 
                                            28.
                                            > Bed?
 - 
                                            29.
                                            > You are camped out by the fireplace in a sleeping bag, with your trusty teddy bear
 - 
                                            30.
                                            > Time for your flawless acting
 - 
                                            31.
                                            "Honk, choo, honk, choo."
 - 
                                            32.
                                            > That's the sound of sleep, no mistake
 - 
                                            33.
                                            > After a few minutes, you hear the telltale sound of hoofsteps on the roof
 - 
                                            34.
                                            > Showtime
 - 
                                            35.
                                            > You hear rustling from the fireplace, then a thump
 - 
                                            36.
                                            > A pause
 - 
                                            37.
                                            > "I know you're awake."
 - 
                                            38.
                                            > What a nice, mature female voice
 - 
                                            39.
                                            > But she's bluffing
 - 
                                            40.
                                            > "I'm not bluffing."
 - 
                                            41.
                                            > Damn, she wins this round
 - 
                                            42.
                                            > You make a big show of yawning and running your eyes
 - 
                                            43.
                                            > Looks like Santa Mare is something of a silver cougar, with the toned and slender body of a Canterlot socialite, under a loose red cloak that stops just short of the curve of her flank
 - 
                                            44.
                                            > Nice
 - 
                                            45.
                                            "Nice to meet you, Santa. Would you like some milk and cookies?"
 - 
                                            46.
                                            > She smiles wryly
 - 
                                            47.
                                            > "Don't mind if I do. Now let's see..."
 - 
                                            48.
                                            > Silvery light plucks the oatmeal raisin cookie from the plate
 - 
                                            49.
                                            > "Oatmeal raisin, really?"
 - 
                                            50.
                                            "Well,"
 - 
                                            51.
                                            > "It's nice to have some variety, but who do you think you're fooling?"
 - 
                                            52.
                                            > You have the distinct feeling that you may not be on the nice list anymore
 - 
                                            53.
                                            "It was worth a try. How is it, by the way?"
 - 
                                            54.
                                            > She takes a bite, her eyebrows rising
 - 
                                            55.
                                            > "This actually pretty good. Do you have more?"
 - 
                                            56.
                                            "Uh, yeah, just a moment."
 - 
                                            57.
                                            > You retrieve a plateful from the fridge, setting it before Santa
 - 
                                            58.
                                            > She eyes the glass of milk
 - 
                                            59.
                                            > "I bet you even jizzed in the milk, eh?"
 - 
                                            60.
                                            > What?
 - 
                                            61.
                                            > She lifts it in her magic, swirling the glass contemplatively
 - 
                                            62.
                                            "Actually,"
 - 
                                            63.
                                            > Santa Mare tilts her head back and drinks it all in one gulp
 - 
                                            64.
                                            > ...
 - 
                                            65.
                                            > She then looks at you with half-lidded eyes, licking her lips
 - 
                                            66.
                                            > "I have a proposition for you, you naughty colt."
 - 
                                            67.
                                            > You are standing at attention, in all sorts of ways
 - 
                                            68.
                                            "What do you have in mind?"
 - 
                                            69.
                                            > She takes a sinuous step towards you
 - 
                                            70.
                                            > "I have a lot of coal I need to get rid of, and exactly one person on the naughty list."
 - 
                                            71.
                                            > Santa takes another step towards you, her flank shifting hypnotically
 - 
                                            72.
                                            > "I'm going to need you to stay on that naughty list, and get coal every year."
 - 
                                            73.
                                            > Her cloak unfastens, slipping to the floor
 - 
                                            74.
                                            > She rears up, placing her hooves on your chest
 - 
                                            75.
                                            > "But don't worry."
 - 
                                            76.
                                            > She nuzzles your neck
 - 
                                            77.
                                            > "We'll be naughty together."
 - 
                                            78.
                                            > You grin, grabbing her by the haunches
 - 
                                            79.
                                            "You give me coal, I'll give you diamonds."
 - 
                                            80.
                                            > She hums sensuously, her plush rump shifting in your hands
 - 
                                            81.
                                            > Her eyes gaze at you with a terrifying hunger
 - 
                                            82.
                                            > "It's such short notice, it's fine if you don't wrap your package."
 - 
                                            83.
                                            > And that's how you became Father Christmas in Equestria
 
                         by Uh-hmmm
                         by Uh-hmmm
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