/bootleg/ - Dim Sum (Spike) (Unfinished) by Anonymous

By BlueGem
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-14 23:37:03
Expiry: Never

anon /bootleg/spike artist unknown dim sum thun

1.
>This isn’t what you expected.
2.
>Special price! Own your own dragon assistant! Only $200!
3.
>You saw the picture of Spike and got excited. Your own dragon bro, Spike? Yes please!
4.
>That’s the last time you trust any product from Bethesda studios.
5.
>”蛋卷?”
6.
>A plate with a steaming egg roll is shoved into your face from below.
7.
“No dim-sum! I’m not hungry!”
8.
>The little dragon stands there for a moment looking down at the greasy snack.
9.
>”你想要一个口交”
10.
>You groan.
11.
“I don’t want fried rice either! Stupid no refund policy...”
12.
>She tugs your pant leg.
13.
>”我做肛门!我爱你很久的水手男孩”
14.
“I’ll have a fortune cookie later.”
15.
>Until then, time to go post about this on reddit
16.
17.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18.
19.
>You and other people who bought these shoddy bootleg dragon assistants raised all kinds of hell about how Bethesda lies to you about their products.
20.
>You’re looking at YouTube videos of the coverage, when your arm is tapped.
21.
>It’s Dim-Sum.
22.
“What is it Dim-Sum? I’m busy.”
23.
>She plays with her claws, shuffling in place.
24.
“我只想说一声谢谢。因为我不是真正的文章,其他人把我打发或称我为假,但你带我进去,并照顾我。“
25.
>You stare at her in silence, as she goes on.
26.
“我爱你!现在说它可能还为时过早,但我真的活在你身边!我希望我们能够永远在一起,直到时间结束”
27.
>She blushes, covering her face.
28.
“....”
29.
>You sigh.
30.
“I thought I said I don’t want chow mein right now! Is all you know Chinese Food?”
31.
>Dim lowers her eyes, annoyed, before walking away into another room.
32.
>Goddamn Bethesda
33.
34.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
35.
36.
"HO YEAH! THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT!"
37.
>Today is a great day.
38.
>Thanks to all the customers uniting together, and complaining(and the class-action lawsuit threat) Bethesda saw the error of their ways, and begin sending out the proper Dragon assistants they promised to those who bought the $200 special edition Spike the Dragon™ personal helpers.
39.
>Can you believe they offered to give you Five bits as compensation at first?
40.
>You can't even buy "Princess Thun" with that!
41.
>All you have to do is enter in all your information on the websites ticket support page, and presto! You're getting a Spike!
42.
>Dim-Sum watches from nearby in an that says: "我喜欢Anon". The only part you recognizer is the last bit of it.
43.
>It probably says, "die" or Kung-fu" knowing her.
44.
>You gleefully enter in your information, as she messes with the apron, concern spread on her blue face.
45.
>You turn to her in your office chair.
46.
"Good news Dim! You're going home!"
47.
>"这是我的家。"
48.
"That's right! Bethesda is gonna take you back so, you won't be miserable here anymore!"
49.
>She gasps.
50.
>"如果你送我回来他们会杀了我。他们不需要缺陷!"
51.
"I know! You'll get to see all your friends!"
52.
>You continue to fill it out.
53.
>"我不是对你有意义吗?你是我的灵魂伴侣!请!不要把我送走!"
54.
"Almost done."
55.
>She runs to you, grabbing your shirt, and shaking you.
56.
>"如果你完成了,你就签署了我的死亡令!我不想离开你!我不想死!我爱你!请!你不想要我吗?"
57.
>Someone is excited to leave... or she's asking if you like egg foo yung.
58.
"Stop Dim-Sum! I like Shrimp lo mein more, okay? geez..."
59.
>Tears start to fill Dim's eyes.
60.
>The little dragoness releases your shirt, slowly backing off with low hanging fins.
61.
>She leaves the room with little sobs.
62.
"Wow. Guess she's a wanton soup type of girl.
63.
64.
~~~~~~~~~~~
65.
66.
>NOK NOK
67.
"It's here!"
68.
>You open the door, to a smiling mailman, holding an egg.
69.
>"Are you Anon?"
70.
"I am! Is that my Spike™ Personal helper?"
71.
>"Yup. Fresh out of Bethesda's shipping!"
72.
"Excellent!"
73.
>The take the egg, rubbing it against your face affectionately, as if you squeezed it out of your own birthhole.
74.
>Dim-Sum stands in the doorway of the kitchen with scared eyes.
75.
"Ah! Dim-Sum! Come here. It's time to go with the nice man."
76.
>Dim takes a step back, slowly shaking her head.
77.
"Dim. Get over here!"
78.
>"不...不!"
79.
>She waddles off into the kitchen, where you can hear pots, and pans rattling around.
80.
>You, and the mail man watch on.
81.
"I'm sorry about this. Just give me a moment..."
82.
>You sit the egg down, and head into the kitchen after Dim, who's hiding in your lower cupboards.
83.
"Floor! Come out here!"
84.
>"不!"
85.
"I don't know why you're talking about Chinese food right now, but I need you to come out here!"
86.
>She stays quiet this time. Guess you have to go in, and get her.
87.
>You open the cabinet door, reaching in for her soft scaly hide.
88.
>Something dull, and pointy runs over your hand.
89.
"You know you can't bite me Dim. Your fangs aren't shape like the actual thing."
90.
>You grab her stubby leg, and yank her out.
91.
>"请!不要这样做!请让我留下来!"
92.
"Mhm. Pu-pu platter to you too."
93.
>Tossing the struggling dragon over your shoulder, you head back to the waiting Mail man.
94.
>"你是我的唯一!请不要把我送走!我不想没有你!我不能没有你!"
95.
"Yep. There'll be tons of rice to eat!"
96.
>She starts to beat on your back with her little fists.
97.
"Here you go sir. Go ahead and take her back."
98.
>The Mail man holds his hands outward.
99.
>Dim gasps, trying to keep out of his grasp.
100.
>"N-Noooooooo! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
101.
>You stop in shock.
102.
"Dim, did you just speak english?"
103.
>"No no no no!"
104.
>You tilt your head.
105.
"Are you saying you want to stay here?"
106.
>"Noooo!"
107.
"Okay then!"
108.
>You hand her over to the postal worker, as he leaves with a screaming Dim-sum.
109.
110.
>NOK NOK
111.
"It's here!"
112.
>You open the door, to a smiling mailman, holding an egg.
113.
>"Are you Anon?"
114.
"I am! Is that my Spike™ Personal helper?"
115.
>"Yup. Fresh out of Bethesda's shipping!"
116.
"Excellent!"
117.
>The take the egg, rubbing it against your face affectionately, as if you squeezed it out of your own birthhole.
118.
>Dim-Sum stands in the doorway of the kitchen with scared eyes.
119.
"Ah! Dim-Sum! Come here. It's time to go with the nice man."
120.
>Dim takes a step back, slowly shaking her head.
121.
"Dim. Get over here!"
122.
>"不...不!"
123.
>She waddles off into the kitchen, where you can hear pots, and pans rattling around.
124.
>You, and the mail man watch on.
125.
"I'm sorry about this. Just give me a moment..."
126.
>You sit the egg down, and head into the kitchen after Dim, who's hiding in your lower cupboards.
127.
"Floor! Come out here!"
128.
>"不!"
129.
"I don't know why you're talking about Chinese food right now, but I need you to come out here!"
130.
>She stays quiet this time. Guess you have to go in, and get her.
131.
>You open the cabinet door, reaching in for her soft scaly hide.
132.
>Something dull, and pointy runs over your hand.
133.
"You know you can't bite me Dim. Your fangs aren't shape like the actual thing."
134.
>You grab her stubby leg, and yank her out.
135.
>"请!不要这样做!请让我留下来!"
136.
"Mhm. Pu-pu platter to you too."
137.
>Tossing the struggling dragon over your shoulder, you head back to the waiting Mail man.
138.
>"你是我的唯一!请不要把我送走!我不想没有你!我不能没有你!"
139.
"Yep. There'll be tons of rice to eat!"
140.
>She starts to beat on your back with her little fists.
141.
"Here you go sir. Go ahead and take her back."
142.
>The Mail man holds his hands outward.
143.
>Dim gasps, trying to keep out of his grasp.
144.
>"N-Noooooooo! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
145.
>You stop in shock.
146.
"Dim, did you just speak english?"
147.
>"No no no no!"
148.
>You tilt your head.
149.
"Are you saying you want to stay here?"
150.
>"Noooo!"
151.
"Okay then!"
152.
>You hand her over to the postal worker, as he leaves with a screaming Dim-sum.
153.
154.
~~~~~~~~~~~
155.
156.
[Author unconfirmed]
157.
158.
>”主!我给你带来了一些吃的东西!”
159.
>You lay back on the sofa, as Dim-Sum places a tray of dumplings in front of you.
160.
>It was a harrowing tale getting her back...
161.
>Explosions, graphic sexual content and violence, and the sacrifice of a whiny dragon.
162.
>You won’t go into the boring details.
163.
>Dim starts playing with her apron strings.
164.
>”谢谢你救我师父。在你现在所做的一切事情中,我能感受到你对我的爱.”
165.
“You silly little bootleg dragon.”
166.
>You pat the chinosium dragon on the head.
167.
>”主!我正在排卵”
168.
“I think egg rolls are great too.
169.
>That’s your dragon-
170.
>NOK NOK
171.
>You both look at the door, then each other.
172.
>Dim shrugs.
173.
>Better see who it is.
174.
>You get up and answer the door, only finding a box.
175.
“Wait a second...”
176.
>It can’t be.
177.
“I thought he shut the site down! This is my Souljapony™ Brand Celestia!”
178.
>Dim watches closely from behind.
179.
>You start opening the bo-
180.
>”THUN!”
181.
>Something pops out head butting you in the face.
182.
>”哦没有高手!你需要心肺复苏吗?我会用我的阴道!”
183.
184.
~~~~~~~~~~~
185.
186.
"Scrubs! Fuck them, and these COCK-SUCKING mechanics!"
187.
>You slam the controller after getting those hands in Dead or Alive 6 by some Scrublord named "ShutterFly0x".
188.
>"主!想要一些点心吗?"
189.
>Dim-Sum walks up next to you in a little Bikini, and poses.
190.
"I don't want a massage right now Dim-Sum! I'm fucking pissed!"
191.
>You sit back in your gaming chair, attempting to settle your nerves, only to catch Thun staring at the sun outside the window.
192.
"H-hey Thun. Don't do that. You'll go blind!"
193.
>"Pretty Thuuuuuun~"
194.
>She looks at you with greyed pupils. Uh-oh.
195.
>"愚蠢的马!她看起来很笨,她的肛门充满了屎!"
196.
"Yeah, I wish I had some sushi too."
197.
>Between these two, and the game, you're gonna have a coronary.
198.
*NOK NOK*
199.
"That's right! That should be my Black Friday special Waifu!"
200.
>You excitedly get up, happy to finally get a break from Dim-Sum, and goddamn Thun, who for the record, ate all the asbestos in your attic. don't know why. She just did.
201.
>Like "sharp cotton candy" she said.
202.
>You open the door, with Dim-Sum clinging to your pant leg, and Thun relieving herself on your Wii U pad, only to be greeted by...a woman...?
203.
>Her blank expression puzzles you.
204.
>She looks like the "Purple Tsundere" you ordered, but her eyes were...uhhhm.
205.
>She raises a hand.
206.
>"Greetings. This is the best."
207.
"What?"
208.
>Her voice sounds like a distorted Maud Pie talking through a blown out speaker.
209.
>"主!这是一个阻碍!杀死它!"
210.
"I don't think she's hungry Dim."
211.
>Dim-Sum facepalms.
212.
>"Are you Anohan?"
213.
>Okay, what the actual fuck.
214.
>"I'm Aroa. The purple Sundance."
215.
"Don't you mean Tsundere?"
216.
>She stares at you blankly, like she's processing your words.
217.
>"I am here to pleasure you Anohan, and give you the full girlfriend experience. Now let us collide genitals."
218.
>You should seriously get your money back.
219.
>On that note,Thun runs into your TV head first cracking the screen.
220.
>"母亲,让我通过嗅你的球来缓解你的愤怒!"