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Coffeeholic(2016): Adventures of Anontonio: Day 0 [discont.]

By dadonequus_archives
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-06-21 18:54:37
Expiry: Never

/dad/

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The following "Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria" is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/
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>day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness
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>be Anontonio
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>boy does your head hurt
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>your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills
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>but you didn't listen, you're no bambino
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>you always preferred your flatcap anyways
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>"Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--..."
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>some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you
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>wait, that's not Italian
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>owch, ayyy
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>nevermind the head, your everything hurts
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>at least it means you survived
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>you're not in the next life yet
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>"-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too."
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>another foreign, yet quirky voice responds
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>you begin to recognize some of those words
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>you half-assed your way through English classes in high school
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>you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head
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>you where on the job delivering pizza
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>out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing
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>foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car
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>no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now
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>...
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>damn tourists
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>you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again
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>"Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor."
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>your hearing becomes clearer
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>pizza?
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>after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery
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>like hell were you going to stand for that without payment
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>"Now Discord, I hardly--"
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>you cut off the angel before she could rebuke
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>your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout
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"LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!"
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>10/10, surely you got your message across
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>You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above
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>one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being
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>probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza
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>...
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>you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare
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>you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand
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>but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm
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"Auurgh!"
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>you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more
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"Aaaauuurghhh!!"
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>you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself
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>"W-we didn't mean to-"
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>you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body
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"Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!"
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>your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet
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>you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now
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>you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?
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>your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over
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>never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought
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>what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!
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>you begin to shake
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>"Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you "really" want it back, you can have it."
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>you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa
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>a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes
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>you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with
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>you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again
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>"There, was that so bad?"
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>mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things
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>you can't wake up
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>you can't unsee
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>you want off this hell
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"AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!"
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>you yell one last time and pass out
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Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv