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Untitled

By Beans4U
Created: 2020-11-24 19:31:32
Expiry: Never

anon fluttershy anonymous /flutterrape//aie/anon in equestria funny flutterape bigfoot menace anonymous in equestria

1.
>Be Anon.
2.
>Be at the park.
3.
>11:00 a.m.
4.
>Sunbeams filter through the tree branches this Saturday.
5.
>They mottle the forest floor with sunlight and shadows that dance when the wind blows the tree limbs.
6.
>Thank God for the wind.
7.
>If not for it, your shirt would be sticking to your skin with sweat soaking the fabric.
8.
>Fortunately, the coolness of the summer breeze saves you from that world of humidity and wet heat.
9.
>Instead, today is a warm, clean, Saturday at the Whinny-Huston Ponyville Park.
10.
>The trail you walk is one less taken by most ponies.
11.
>There are more bushes on the trail path’s sides, but none tall enough to obscure the scenery around you.
12.
>You can still see all the spaces between the trees, see the little burrows dug by busy groundhogs.
13.
>It has character, this trail, hence why you take it.
14.
>Well, that and the last time you took the main trail was quite the event.
15.
>You were walking in a fur coat that day for it was Winter.
16.
>When you returned home, a picture of you in the coat at the park was in the newspaper.
17.
>That itself was alright-- you are beautiful, after all, like Mamanon said -- but it was the paper’s headline which struck you with great unease.
18.
>It read: “EVERFREE BIGFOOT MENACE *STILL* HASN’T LEARNED!! ANGRY MOB TO MEET TONIGHT!”
19.
>Quite lovely.
20.
>There was also an ad for pitchforks and torches, all 50% off, from the Apple family.
21.
>It was so fun to explain the truth to the mayor that night, standing in front of the angry mob gathered around town hall.
22.
>It was also fun having the mayor and the mob follow you home so you could show them the fur coat as proof.
23.
>And it was the most fun of all when they screamed at the coat and threw their pitchforks and torches at the gift from Rarity while you held it.
24.
>So.
25.
>Much.
26.
>Fun.
27.
>:')
28.
>But hey, at least you got a new collection of pitchforks in the front yard.
29.
>And a torch for 50% off.
30.
>Gotta watch out for dat Bigfoot menace, ya know.
31.
32.
>While your current chances of false identification as an elusive, bipedal ape are slim these days, you’ve grown accustomed to this trail from the original one you took.
33.
>It gives you a sense of security.
34.
>It’s quiet, peaceful, tranquil-- the good shit.
35.
>As you continue to walk along the trail path, you eventually come to spot a bench.
36.
>It faces a clearing through the bushes and greenery to your left that leaves a view open for you to admire through a small pond and the wildlife that inhabit it.
37.
>Deciding that it is a good place to ponder and reflect, you accost the bench and set your rump upon it.
38.
>It is a strong bench.
39.
>A strong, old bench with wood that is dry and pale and chipped, yet no more brittle than steel, or sturdy as a redwood tree.
40.
>It’s not too uncomfortable, either, and despite most other benches in town having a smaller stature to accommodate the needs of ponies, this one is surprisingly fitting for your size.
41.
>A good bench to rest upon, you feel.
42.
>Gosh, what a sight.
43.
>The sunlight shimmers in the pond with each small splash from each small creature while, at the shallower end, a log sticks out of the water where upon sits a line of five turtles, each one bigger than the last.
44.
>The smallest sits at the tip top of the log, no doubt the youngest, moving his head about more than his kin, looking at the world with a child's curiosity.
45.
>You lay back further into the bench with a yawn.
46.
>“Um, h-hello, Anon.
47.
“Hello, talking bench.”
48.
>“Um, are you watching the little turtle too?”
49.
>You nod your head, smirking at the small shelled reptile.
50.
>Seeing four others behind it, larger than the ones before each other, makes their placement seem almost intentional.
51.
>But nature is like that, you suppose.
52.
>After all, turtles and tortoises tend to represent--
53.
>Ahp.
54.
>Wait a minute.
55.
>Benches don't talk.
56.
>You split your legs apart where you sit, looking down at the bench's wooden seat.
57.
58.
“Uh, hello?” you say, a curious upward inflection in your voice. “Did you just say something?”
59.
>“Oh, um, I-I was just saying hello and wanted to know if you were watching the cute little turtles too. I didn’t mean to disturb you. S-sorry...”
60.
“Eeeh, that’s alright. You’re good.”
61.
>You look back up at the pond and--
62.
“Hey! Wait a minute! You just did it again!”
63.
>“Did what?”
64.
“Talk to me! You just fucking talked to me!”
65.
>“Oh! I’m so sorry! I-I just didn’t want to seem rude or anything... Um, would you like me to, y-you know.../not/ talk to you?”
66.
“You’re damn right I want no talkin’ bench in my park!” you say to it, but are quick to lean close to its arm-rest and whisper, “Did the Bigfeet send ya here? You their spy or prisoner or something? Look, I can get you out, you just gotta wait until I put my coat on and--”
67.
>“Um, Anon...?”
68.
“Yes?”
69.
>“I’m...I’m not a talking bench.”
70.
>Ah.
71.
>Shit.
72.
>It’s going to be one of /those/ days, isn’t it?
73.
“Ah. I see. You haven’t reached self awareness yet, have you? Okay, so, listen: technically, you’re not really alive as a bench, but that doesn’t mean--”
74.
>“Anon? Um, I’m not a bench.”
75.
“Well, you certainly might /believe/ that, but y’see, free will and sentience is, uh...It’s like...well...uh, it all starts in ancient Greece...”
76.
>Wait, shit, Greece isn’t canon in horseland.
77.
>You sigh, shoulders slumping to your side.
78.
“Ugh, God, this is why I joined that philosophy class in college. You know, dear little bench with dreams, I knew this would happen to me one day. Really, I did! But did I pay attention in class? Noooo! Cause Mom made me drop the damn thing because the school threatened to sue if I went through with the...UGH!”
79.
>“Um, Anon?” says the little gay bench. “Could you, maybe, look up from your crotch? And, um, now look next to you. No, y-your right side. Um...maybe your /other/ right side, please?”
80.
81.
“Oh. You.”
82.
>You scowl at the...the FIEND sitting next to you.
83.
>Fucking.
84.
>Fluttershit.
85.
>She smiles that half-wince smile she always makes, the one with her neck lowered as if she were hiding from someone throwing rotten food at her admittedly cute pony ass.
86.
>They should be throwing crucifixes.
87.
>And torches and pitchforks, now that you think about it.
88.
>A pink curtain of mane obscures half her face.
89.
>Good.
90.
>The less you see, the better.
91.
>Unfortunately, she still reeks of weakness and flowers.
92.
“When the fuck did you get here?” you ask, folding your arms with a huff.
93.
>“Um, I was already sitting here. D-didn't you see me?”
94.
>Uuuuuh......
95.
“Oh! Yes, you totally were! Of course. Yes. Totally. Hello there. Hi. Hello. So, uh, whaddya doin’ over here? Gonna kill yourself? I can help you with that.”
96.
“Oh, nothing...”
97.
>orly.jpg
98.
“Nothing you say?”
99.
>“Yes. Um, n-nothing...”
100.
“Not gonna try and kidnap me?”
101.
>“No.”
102.
“Not gonna stand up and reveal that the bench turns into a cage and take me to your basement?”
103.
>“Nuh-uh.”
104.
“Not even gonna try and knock me out? Do somethin’ weird and ask me for my fetish? Tickle my sexy boy taint?”
105.
>She shakes her head.
106.
“Huh.”
107.
>You stand up from the bench with a yawn.
108.
“Well, uh, later faggot.”
109.
>“O-oh! Um, goodbye, Anon.”
110.
>...
111.
“Fuck you.”
112.
>You kick the bench over by surprise, knocking it back with Fluttershy.
113.
>You hear the butter-colored pegasus squeak in shock (like a little biiih), then watch her scramble up onto her legs.
114.
>“R-rape me, p-please!” she screams while stammering.
115.
>You have just the answer for her.
116.
117.
“ＲＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥＥ！！！！”
118.
119.
>With your dominance screech’s power, Fluttershy goes skedaddling into the bush, a warbling cry of indignity, self-pity, and worst-poniness echoing off the trees.
120.
>You snicker like a basedboi and carry on like a wayward chum.
121.
>Fucking Fluttershy.
122.
>Kek.