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Izzy Dorkbow (By Anon)
By afterpasteCreated: 2022-01-01 03:21:55
Updated: 2022-01-17 06:22:11
Expiry: Never
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                                            2.
                                            
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                                            3.
                                            "That's your problem right there, anon. You keep clicking on Pipp ups and it keeps crashing the mainframe. Move over, I'm gonna hack in. It's a Unilinux system, after all."
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                                            4.
                                            >Izzy adjusts her "hacker glasses" and slams her hooves into your laptop keyboard for a few minutes
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                                            5.
                                            >Keys go flying
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                                            6.
                                            "They're trying to slice me, anon! Better stand back! This could get ugly!"
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                                            7.
                                            >She continues to slam her hooves into your keyboard like a retard until half the keys have been sent flying
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                                            8.
                                            >You hear repeated windows error messages
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                                            9.
                                            >You watch in horror as your laptop blue screens
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                                            10.
                                            "Ahhh horse apples! I got sliced! Sorry, anon. Those black hackers meant business!"
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                                            11.
                                            >You stare at her in a state of shock and anger
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                                            12.
                                            "How did you get in my FUCKING HOUSE, IZZY!?"
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                                            13.
                                            "Oh, your door was unlocked! I heard you in here grunting and groaning and you sounded like you were in distress! Then I looked in your room and saw you furiously typing away at the keyboard, and KNEW you must've been hacked."
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                                            14.
                                            >You groan and facepalm
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                                            15.
                                            
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                                            16.
                                            "Well, now that you've HELPED ME, Izzy, I think it's time for you to go."
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                                            17.
                                            >She looks dejected and slumps her withers
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                                            18.
                                            "Oh..."
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                                            19.
                                            >You start picking up your keys that went flying across the room
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                                            20.
                                            "Look, I was kind of in the middle of something personal when you busted in."
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                                            21.
                                            >She looks up at you and tilts her head
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                                            22.
                                            "You mean you weren't being hacked? It sounded like you were really getting frustrated! All that groaning and-"
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                                            23.
                                            "I WASN'T. I was, uh... Trying to install Gentoo."
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                                            24.
                                            >She quirks an eyebrow
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                                            25.
                                            "Anon, I'd rather you just tell me you were jerking off than make up an excuse like that."
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                                            26.
                                            >She hops off your computer chair and trots across the room to the door
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                                            27.
                                            >You stand there, dumbfounded
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                                            28.
                                            "Hey, wait a sec!"
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                                            29.
                                            >She stops
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                                            30.
                                            "Yeeeees?"~
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                                            31.
                                            "... If you knew what I was doing, why'd you come in here and try to 'fix' my computer?"
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                                            32.
                                            >She puts a hoof to her chin
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                                            33.
                                            "Well, Sunny showed me this movie once where a mare needed her computer fixed and a stallion came over and pretended to fix it, but they ended up having sex."
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                                            34.
                                            >You blink slowly
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                                            35.
                                            "That was a porno, Izzy."
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                                            36.
                                            >She squints her eyes
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                                            37.
                                            "So we're not about to have sex then?"
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                                            38.
                                            >You are at a loss for words, and thoughts
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                                            39.
                                            "I mean... Uh..."
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                                            40.
                                            >She perks up
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                                            41.
                                            "Alright, then. I'll just think of another way to get you to finally quit being such a mare and breed me! See ya later Anon! Bada da dee dut dow!"
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                                            42.
                                            >She exits
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                                            43.
                                            >You stand there, cock and balls dangling in the wind
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                                            44.
                                            "What the fuck is my life?"
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                                            45.
                                            >You bend down and pick up the 'Q' key
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                                            46.
                                            
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                                            47.
                                            >The next day you're out walking through the streets of Maretime Bay
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                                            48.
                                            >It ain't much but it's home since you've been foisted into this weird world of tennis ball textured technicolor equines
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                                            49.
                                            >You walk over to the general store to grab some snacks
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                                            50.
                                            >Inside you see Izzy standing across way, eagerly searching through different kinds of cheap gas station magazines
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                                            51.
                                            >You see her grab one with a mare sprawled out on the front of it in a provocative pose
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                                            52.
                                            "She's not... reading that in the middle of the store, is she?"
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                                            53.
                                            >You watch her flip through a few pages and then produce a pad and pencil and begin scribbling notes
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                                            54.
                                            "Oh no."
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                                            55.
                                            >You turn to walk back out and you hear her call out to you
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                                            56.
                                            "Oh! Anooon!~"
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                                            57.
                                            >You quicken your pace
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                                            58.
                                            "Anon wait!"
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                                            59.
                                            >You move into a power walk
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                                            60.
                                            >You hear the clip clop of her hooves quickly closing the distance
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                                            61.
                                            >You slow down, accepting your fate
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                                            62.
                                            >You can't outrun a horse
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                                            63.
                                            >You've tried
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                                            64.
                                            "Anon! There you are."
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                                            65.
                                            >She trots around to the front of you with the pornographic magazine still suspended in her magical aura
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                                            66.
                                            "Anon, I need to ask you something."
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                                            67.
                                            >You wince and brace yourself
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                                            68.
                                            "What is it, Izzy?"
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                                            69.
                                            >She flips the pages open to the centerfold
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                                            70.
                                            >It shows a unicorn mare spread eagle, fully on display
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                                            71.
                                            "Do you like what you see?"
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                                            72.
                                            >You try to avert your eyes, but you have to admit it does look pretty nice
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                                            73.
                                            "Uh yeah, she looks great."
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                                            74.
                                            >She closes the magazine
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                                            75.
                                            "Ah hah! So you DO like unicorns."
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                                            76.
                                            >You blink a few times
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                                            77.
                                            "Izzy did you pay for tha-"
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                                            78.
                                            "Thanks, anon! I'll talk to you later!"
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                                            79.
                                            >She trots back toward the general store
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                                            80.
                                            
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                                            81.
                                            >The next morning you wake up to a strange sound
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                                            82.
                                            >You wipe your eyes and blink them open, adjusting to the dim morning light
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                                            83.
                                            >You look around the room
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                                            84.
                                            >The window is open
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                                            85.
                                            "Must've been someone outside..."
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                                            86.
                                            >You roll back over in bed and close your eyes
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                                            87.
                                            >Just as you're drifting off you hear the noise again
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                                            88.
                                            >One of your eyes snaps open
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                                            89.
                                            "Is that my leaf blower?"
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                                            90.
                                            >You sit up in bed and quickly walk over to your window
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                                            91.
                                            "What the fuck?"
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                                            92.
                                            >Izzy is outside in your back yard, your leaf blower being held in her magical aura
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                                            93.
                                            >She's blowing the leaves from the little plot of land you call your yard
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                                            94.
                                            >You try to yell over the leaf blower
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                                            95.
                                            "IZZY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
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                                            96.
                                            >She looks at you, waves, and just continues humming loudly to herself and blowing the leaves around
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                                            97.
                                            "What the hell is she up to...?"
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                                            98.
                                            >You hurriedly get dressed to see why you're getting free yard work from a unicorn
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                                            99.
                                            >You walk out the back door and you approach cautiously
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                                            100.
                                            >She turns and smiles and cuts the leaf blower off
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                                            101.
                                            "Hey anon! What's up?"
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                                            102.
                                            >You scratch your head
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                                            103.
                                            "Hey, Izzy. I was uh... wondering if you could tell me. I didn't ask you to-"
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                                            104.
                                            >Suddenly she turns the leaf blower on its highest setting and blasts it right at your crotch
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                                            105.
                                            "Wha!"
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                                            106.
                                            >You retract and turn your hips, covering your crotch
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                                            107.
                                            "Izzy, what the hell?!"
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                                            108.
                                            >She turns with you and keeps trying to blast your crotch with the leaf blower
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                                            109.
                                            "IZZY! Iz- Izzy knock it- KNOCK IT OFF!"
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                                            110.
                                            >You get caught in a strange dance of trying to dodge the blast of air
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                                            111.
                                            >Finally she shuts it off
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                                            112.
                                            >You're standing there on one leg covering your crotch with your hip turned
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                                            113.
                                            "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, IZZY?"
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                                            114.
                                            >She tilts her head
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                                            115.
                                            "This isn't working for you?"
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                                            116.
                                            >You blink your eyes slowly
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                                            117.
                                            "What do you mean?"
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                                            118.
                                            >You cautiously go back to a normal stance
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                                            119.
                                            "Huh, that's weird..."
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                                            120.
                                            >She drops the leaf blower and rubs her chin with a hoof
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                                            121.
                                            "All the girls told me stallions love being blown.."
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                                            122.
                                            >You sit in stunned silence for a moment, then pinch the ridge of your nose
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                                            123.
                                            "Izzy, that's not-"
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                                            124.
                                            "The magazine even said they liked 'blow jobs'."
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                                            125.
                                            >You look over at the leaf blower, and then back at Izzy
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                                            126.
                                            "Izzy, I think you might have misunderstood what a 'blowjob' is..."
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                                            127.
                                            >She looks at the yard and gestures with a hoof
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                                            128.
                                            "But I blew it so hard! You should be cumming right now! Unless I did it wrong, somehow..."
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                                            129.
                                            >She trots out of your back yard slowly and toward the street, lost in thought
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                                            130.
                                            "Izzy?"
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                                            131.
                                            >She seems to be in her own little world as she hits the sidewalk and trots back toward town
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                                            132.
                                            "This is getting ridiculous."
 
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