2186 12.13 KB 211
Let There Be Light: Sc.07
By E4-NGCreated: 2022-02-17 12:49:55
Updated: 2022-02-17 13:02:03
Expiry: Never
- 
                                            1.
                                            >Creatures surround you on all sides.
 - 
                                            2.
                                            >Dragons, minotaurs, some sort of humanoid birds and cats, and half a dozen varieties of minuscule horse.
 - 
                                            3.
                                            >All of them looking at you.
 - 
                                            4.
                                            >A rumble in the distance.
 - 
                                            5.
                                            >Thunder?
 - 
                                            6.
                                            >Blue, cloudless skies, all around.
 - 
                                            7.
                                            >And all around, the eyes of a hundred beings.
 - 
                                            8.
                                            >Watching.
 - 
                                            9.
                                            >Waiting.
 - 
                                            10.
                                            >For what?
 - 
                                            11.
                                            >Say something, Anon.
 - 
                                            12.
                                            >Give them the gift of your tongue.
 - 
                                            13.
                                            >Your paltry thirdhand ‘wisdom’.
 - 
                                            14.
                                            >If you don’t speak, they’ll never be able to.
 - 
                                            15.
                                            >You open your mouth.
 - 
                                            16.
                                            >Only that distant rumble sounds.
 - 
                                            17.
                                            >Why you?
 - 
                                            18.
                                            >Why only you?
 - 
                                            19.
                                            >Why are you all alone?
 - 
                                            20.
                                            >Nothing near you but grass.
 - 
                                            21.
                                            >’Noire?’ You try to croak.
 - 
                                            22.
                                            >Again, only a distant thunder.
 - 
                                            23.
                                            >Eyes only on you.
 - 
                                            24.
                                            >They’d never looked at her.
 - 
                                            25.
                                            >Not once, even though she was the one who made them.
 - 
                                            26.
                                            >They only saw you, and then left.
 - 
                                            27.
                                            >So here you’re pinned, and Noire’s gone.
 - 
                                            28.
                                            >Almost like this isn’t you.
 - 
                                            29.
                                            >Just their expectation of you.
 - 
                                            30.
                                            >And what do they know about you?
 - 
                                            31.
                                            >Even less than yourself, and you know nothing, not even your name.
 - 
                                            32.
                                            >They had the briefest contact with you when life first sparked.
 - 
                                            33.
                                            >You gave each a phrase and they departed.
 - 
                                            34.
                                            >What would their image of you even be?
 - 
                                            35.
                                            >Their expectation of her, of course, is totally absent.
 - 
                                            36.
                                            >They’d never acknowledged her in the first place.
 - 
                                            37.
                                            >Say something.
 - 
                                            38.
                                            >Anything.
 - 
                                            39.
                                            >Give them the barest hint of recognizance, that which they denied Noire.
 - 
                                            40.
                                            >Let them enter the world on something other than the harsh reality you’d left.
 - 
                                            41.
                                            >But what could you say to them that doesn’t drive a shard of that reality into them, like a knife into their soul?
 - 
                                            42.
                                            >It’s all you know.
 - 
                                            43.
                                            >Speak.
 - 
                                            44.
                                            >Speak, demands the distant thunder.
 - 
                                            45.
                                            >Some of them hear it now, heads turning.
 - 
                                            46.
                                            >The storm will take them away from you.
 - 
                                            47.
                                            >You wither under their stares but what would you be once they leave?
 - 
                                            48.
                                            >Inflict your signature wound on them, so they’ll forever be scarred with the hard-won wisdom of your home, wrought by blood.
 - 
                                            49.
                                            >Speak, damn you.
 - 
                                            50.
                                            >Speak; damn them.
 - 
                                            51.
                                            >It should be Noire here, under their baleful watch.
 - 
                                            52.
                                            >Noire, the god, cosmos incarnate, perfection.
 - 
                                            53.
                                            >Their true creator.
 - 
                                            54.
                                            >The thunder is loud enough to discern as such clearly, now.
 - 
                                            55.
                                            >A few creatures in the back peel off from the group, wandering into the woods, dark despite the daylight.
 - 
                                            56.
                                            >You can’t tell if this hurts more than their stares.
 - 
                                            57.
                                            >You gave them your shitty words, but they gave you meaning.
 - 
                                            58.
                                            >They’re the only reason you’re here.
 - 
                                            59.
                                            >Another rumble of thunder.
 - 
                                            60.
                                            >More creatures breaking away.
 - 
                                            61.
                                            >You’re not even fully surrounded, now; there’s a gap in front of you.
 - 
                                            62.
                                            >A chance to escape.
 - 
                                            63.
                                            >But you’re rooted in place.
 - 
                                            64.
                                            >Fixed by the piercing eyes of those remaining.
 - 
                                            65.
                                            >Eventually they’ll all leave.
 - 
                                            66.
                                            >And you’ll be alone.
 - 
                                            67.
                                            >No escape, then.
 - 
                                            68.
                                            >You’ll simply cease being.
 - 
                                            69.
                                            >A bolt of lighting flashes close enough to totally blind you.
 - 
                                            70.
                                            >A world of nothing but light.
 - 
                                            71.
                                            
 - 
                                            72.
                                            * * *
 - 
                                            73.
                                            
 - 
                                            74.
                                            >BANG!
 - 
                                            75.
                                            >The blast of thunder – from a strike close enough to shake the house – startles you awake, driving you upright on the couch you’d been napping on.
 - 
                                            76.
                                            >Your motion startles Noire, also on the couch beside you, body facing you but watching the fireplace.
 - 
                                            77.
                                            >She often sits here and meditates. Checking the rest of the world, she says.
 - 
                                            78.
                                            >You hope you didn’t just screw something up.
 - 
                                            79.
                                            >She looks over you, worry clear in her eyes, as the thunder fades and leaves only the crackling fire in the hearth on the north-facing wall, it’s smoky smell mingling with hers.
 - 
                                            80.
                                            >”Are you alright?”
 - 
                                            81.
                                            “Yeah, just-”
 - 
                                            82.
                                            >You rub your face with your hands, then shake your head.
 - 
                                            83.
                                            “Just a bad dream.”
 - 
                                            84.
                                            >She considers you silently, long enough to draw your attention to her. “I would not know.”
 - 
                                            85.
                                            “Do you sleep?”
 - 
                                            86.
                                            >”I could, if I chose to.”
 - 
                                            87.
                                            “Kinda hard to talk about dreams with someone who has not experienced them.”
 - 
                                            88.
                                            >”Knowledge against experience,” she mumbles as she looks away. Then, returning her attention to you, “Tell me about yours. What troubles you?”
 - 
                                            89.
                                            >Your turn to look away, with a wave of your hand.
 - 
                                            90.
                                            “I don’t know. Some anxiety about what I’m doing here, I guess.”
 - 
                                            91.
                                            >The details are already fading from your mind, it’s hard to fix them.
 - 
                                            92.
                                            >One sticks with you though.
 - 
                                            93.
                                            >You were, basically, alone.
 - 
                                            94.
                                            >She wasn’t there.
 - 
                                            95.
                                            “I was isolated, in a way. I was surrounded by, I can’t remember. Things. But I was alone, something about me was different than them in an important way and I couldn’t do anything.”
 - 
                                            96.
                                            >You look over to her when she doesn’t respond.
 - 
                                            97.
                                            “You, uh, you weren’t there. And that was one of the scariest parts.”
 - 
                                            98.
                                            >Your fidgeting hands become a much more enticing target for your eyes.
 - 
                                            99.
                                            “In a lot of ways, I’m only okay because you’re here, I think”
 - 
                                            100.
                                            >The ensuing silence stretches long enough for thunder to intrude again, not as near as that which woke you.
 - 
                                            101.
                                            >”Anon, may I-”
 - 
                                            102.
                                            >You look back to her.
 - 
                                            103.
                                            >”May I confide in you something?”
 - 
                                            104.
                                            “Yeah, of course.”
 - 
                                            105.
                                            >”You have asked before what I think of the limitations you requested I place on myself.”
 - 
                                            106.
                                            “I don’t know how you’re handling it, honestly. If it’s a burden or not. I don-”
 - 
                                            107.
                                            >”It’s hard!”
 - 
                                            108.
                                            >Her interruption shocks you almost as bad as the thunder that brought you back here. It has as much force behind it.
 - 
                                            109.
                                            >She looks almost as shocked as you felt.
 - 
                                            110.
                                            >”Sorry.”
 - 
                                            111.
                                            >Calm her down.
 - 
                                            112.
                                            >You give her a weak smile, and extend a hand to stroke one of her shoulders.
 - 
                                            113.
                                            >She flinches away from it, but doesn’t react further when you insist.
 - 
                                            114.
                                            “I want to hear it.”
 - 
                                            115.
                                            >”I also feel surrounded, yet alone. I am surrounded by myself.”
 - 
                                            116.
                                            “What do you mean?”
 - 
                                            117.
                                            >”This existence, as I am now, is not… me. Not all of me. I was not subject to time and space before you arrived. I emulated those limitations for your sake. Then I chained myself to them at your request.”
 - 
                                            118.
                                            “And I thank you. But, uh, I don’t want you to suffer for me, Noire.”
 - 
                                            119.
                                            >”It is not torture. But I am alienated, as you felt. I am alienated from myself.”
 - 
                                            120.
                                            >She looks to the ceiling, as if trying to pierce through it and the sky to look into some cosmological mirror.
 - 
                                            121.
                                            >”Here and now my greater self still exists, because that self is everywhere and everywhen. Everything I experience is also experienced by that greater self. But nothing comes from it to me. I am cut off from myself.”
 - 
                                            122.
                                            >Your hand has stopped its gentle strokes as you can only stare at her.
 - 
                                            123.
                                            “I had no idea.”
 - 
                                            124.
                                            >You shake your head.
 - 
                                            125.
                                            “I don’t want you to go through that just for me.”
 - 
                                            126.
                                            >”Anon, it is not torture because I have you.”
 - 
                                            127.
                                            >You freeze.
 - 
                                            128.
                                            >Part of you wants to scoop her up with that hand touching her, right now.
 - 
                                            129.
                                            >”You are more than my muse. You are my guide. You are comfortable with this mode of existence, it is all you know. Yet you live with confidence despite it. I must learn this quality, because I-”
 - 
                                            130.
                                            >Confusion dominates her face. “Because-”
 - 
                                            131.
                                            >Give in.
 - 
                                            132.
                                            >You reach over with your other arm now, so you can gather her up with both and pull her towards you.
 - 
                                            133.
                                            >She doesn’t resist, even as you haul her forelegs over your lap.
 - 
                                            134.
                                            >In fact, with her size, it can only be as easy as you find it because she, in some minor way, helps you.
 - 
                                            135.
                                            >Even still, she doesn’t meet your eyes.
 - 
                                            136.
                                            >You wrap one arm around her back, and stroke the side of her neck with your other hand.
 - 
                                            137.
                                            >Her mane drifts over your shoulder, carrying those smoky notes to you.
 - 
                                            138.
                                            >Her halo, you can tell now, isn’t actually where you see it always behind her head from your perspective. It has a real position over her back, because it warms your arm where they intersect.
 - 
                                            139.
                                            “Hey. I said you could confide in me. Anything.”
 - 
                                            140.
                                            >”When we were first talking about free will, when you had me Forget…”
 - 
                                            141.
                                            “Yeah?”
 - 
                                            142.
                                            >”I mentioned that it was opaque to me. And that I leave this world when it becomes rooted enough, so it may direct itself without my interference.”
 - 
                                            143.
                                            >She shakes her head.
 - 
                                            144.
                                            >“That means it spreads. Eventually I cannot see large areas of this world. And eventually I cannot see anything at all.”
 - 
                                            145.
                                            ”Because it takes over?”
 - 
                                            146.
                                            >”How can I know? I am not an entity that should be confronted with such mystery. Yet there is this void, past which my awareness simply ends. I must learn now to face that. I need to learn how to be unafraid of the unknown.”
 - 
                                            147.
                                            >She finally looks at you.
 - 
                                            148.
                                            >”I need to be brave. Like you.”
 - 
                                            149.
                                            >At that moment, in her eyes, you are witness to such innocent vulnerability that you realize you are not looking at a god at all.
 - 
                                            150.
                                            >You are looking at fragile creature paralyzed by fear.
 - 
                                            151.
                                            >Just as you were, in your dream.
 - 
                                            152.
                                            >This reflection of yourself in alien eyes is too much for you to bear.
 - 
                                            153.
                                            >You look up and pull her head to you, cupping her cheek, pressing hers into your collarbones.
 - 
                                            154.
                                            >Your chin over her forehead, her horn against your temple.
 - 
                                            155.
                                            >You’re immersed in her mane’s scent now, realizing its full complexity, the smell of warm wet grass and a roaring campfire through a crisp summer’s night breeze, surrounding you with enough power that for a brief moment you feel transported to some scene from your childhood.
 - 
                                            156.
                                            >And you can feel her breathing, shallower and faster than it ought to be.
 - 
                                            157.
                                            “I can’t teach you that. I don’t know how.”
 - 
                                            158.
                                            >A hitch in her breath.
 - 
                                            159.
                                            ”But if you need a guide, that I can do.”
 - 
                                            160.
                                            >You can feel her smile as she sighs with relief.
 - 
                                            161.
                                            >”Thank you.”
 - 
                                            162.
                                            “You should rest. Take your mind off this world, for a time. You said you could sleep if you wanted. Let yourself.”
 - 
                                            163.
                                            >”Now?”
 - 
                                            164.
                                            “I’ll be right here with you.”
 - 
                                            165.
                                            >She nods in your arms.
 - 
                                            166.
                                            >”Maybe I will even dream.”
 - 
                                            167.
                                            >You let the arm around her neck fall to her back.
 - 
                                            168.
                                            >Slip it between her side and her wing.
 - 
                                            169.
                                            >The dim waves of orange light that slide down her darker feathers had become bright and agitated, whirling chaotically across her primaries.
 - 
                                            170.
                                            >You keep her head against you and gently stroke her side, watching them.
 - 
                                            171.
                                            >First they calm, falling back into orderly waves rippling out from under her coverts.
 - 
                                            172.
                                            >Then they dim, resuming their usual barely-perceptible glow.
 - 
                                            173.
                                            >Then, finally, as with her breathing, they slow.
 - 
                                            174.
                                            >She heaves one last sigh beneath your arms, then her breath falls into a slow and steady rhythm.
 - 
                                            175.
                                            >”Maybe…”
 - 
                                            176.
                                            >The quietest murmur.
 - 
                                            177.
                                            >”…of you.”
 - 
                                            178.
                                            >Her wings droop, one wedging itself between the cushions of the seat and the back of the couch, the other lowering to the floor and covering your leg.
 - 
                                            179.
                                            >The warmth of her body is almost intoxicating.
 - 
                                            180.
                                            >Loosening you.
 - 
                                            181.
                                            >Something about this display makes you want to cry.
 - 
                                            182.
                                            >You’d always seen her as a being of such magnificent power.
 - 
                                            183.
                                            >While, this whole time, she was struggling with something you take for granted every moment of your life.
 - 
                                            184.
                                            >Maybe that’s why you were sent here, by whatever you were wherever you were from.
 - 
                                            185.
                                            >Not to be her muse.
 - 
                                            186.
                                            >To be her guide.
 - 
                                            187.
                                            >No, stop, you can’t let that impulse get the best of you.
 - 
                                            188.
                                            >That’ll fuck with your breathing and you’ll wake her up, with her cheek against your heart like this.
 - 
                                            189.
                                            >You peer through her wispy smoke-like mane to the fireplace, still snapping and popping away.
 - 
                                            190.
                                            >Thunder sounds again, but far-off.
 - 
                                            191.
                                            >A threat receding.
 - 
                                            192.
                                            >Everything here is arranged according to your comfort.
 - 
                                            193.
                                            >This house, this furniture, these meals, the fire.
 - 
                                            194.
                                            >Now you know, this is the only place she can relax.
 - 
                                            195.
                                            >Enveloped within your design.
 - 
                                            196.
                                            >Laying by your side.
 - 
                                            197.
                                            >The only way you know how to lead is by example.
 - 
                                            198.
                                            >But all that requires is your presence.
 - 
                                            199.
                                            >As long as you stay here, with her, until she can understand, perhaps that is your true purpose.
 - 
                                            200.
                                            >She leaves this world, she goes back to being her greater self, she says.
 - 
                                            201.
                                            >You are no god, you cannot follow her, even if you are still here by then. It might be centuries, millennia, from now.
 - 
                                            202.
                                            >Not like she gave you a schedule.
 - 
                                            203.
                                            >But if it took your entire life to show her how to let go of her fear of simply BEING.
 - 
                                            204.
                                            >That’ll make all this worth it.
 - 
                                            205.
                                            >Bring the nightmares, the baleful stares of the creatures you helped create.
 - 
                                            206.
                                            >You give them a piece of yourself, but they’re not the ones who need it most.
 - 
                                            207.
                                            >Of all the living creatures that now walk this world, only one truly illuminates your purpose.
 - 
                                            208.
                                            >And tonight you proved her initial assessment of herself wrong.
 - 
                                            209.
                                            >She called you the first living thing here.
 - 
                                            210.
                                            >But this is the burden that all living share.
 - 
                                            211.
                                            >She truly is alive.
 
                         by E4-NG
                         by E4-NG
                         by E4-NG
                         by E4-NG
                         by E4-NG