- 
                                            1.
                                            stream of concious writing coming through.
 - 
                                            2.
                                            >Be you.
 - 
                                            3.
                                            >December 2020
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                                            4.
                                            >you've kind of wanted to die since april.
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                                            5.
                                            >y'know...
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                                            6.
                                            >because of the thing.
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                                            7.
                                            >You work retail so that makes it worse.
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                                            8.
                                            >quietly sit alone in apatment.
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                                            9.
                                            >stare at ceiling
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                                            10.
                                            >don't remember last time you saw someone not family or a coworker
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                                            11.
                                            >fuckit.jpeg
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                                            12.
                                            >make a phone call.
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                                            13.
                                            >say a few codewords to the dude on the line
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                                            14.
                                            >get "Him" talking to you
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                                            15.
                                            >Tell him you need a fucking break and something new.
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                                            16.
                                            >He tells you to meet him at the abandoned bowling alley in two hours.
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                                            17.
                                            >spend the next hour pacing before grabbing your coat, mask, and keys.
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                                            18.
                                            >drive across town.
 - 
                                            19.
                                            >He's waiting for you.
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                                            20.
                                            >haven't been in the bowling alley since it got raided.
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                                            21.
                                            >it's had it's grand re-opening twice since then
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                                            22.
                                            >he leads you into the back.
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                                            23.
                                            >Graffiti is everywhere.
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                                            24.
                                            >rotted stuff toys
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                                            25.
                                            >empty water bowls.
 - 
                                            26.
                                            >he hands you a small pill container.
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                                            27.
                                            >tells you it's "The New formula"
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                                            28.
                                            >What are they calling it?
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                                            29.
                                            >GRFN
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                                            30.
                                            >open container, joints.
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                                            31.
                                            >wat.png
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                                            32.
                                            >tells you it "runs through the system faster" when inhaled.
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                                            33.
                                            >make a comment about being worried about lung disease
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                                            34.
                                            >he tells you to stop being a bitch before tossing you a zippo with a yin-yang symbol on it.
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                                            35.
                                            >Sit down on a moldy couch.
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                                            36.
                                            >light up.
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                                            37.
                                            >inhale.
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                                            38.
                                            >never done weed or anything like that, don't know if you're doing it right.
 - 
                                            39.
                                            >hold it in for a few seconds
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                                            40.
                                            >cough out a slightly pink-ish smoke
 - 
                                            41.
                                            >concern.
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                                            42.
                                            >repeat the process until it's easier.
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                                            43.
                                            >melt into couch.
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                                            44.
                                            >metaphorically.
 - 
                                            45.
                                            >I know what thread I'm writing for.
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                                            46.
                                            >you look up at the dealer and go "how do I know it's work...oh."
 - 
                                            47.
                                            >full blown
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                                            48.
                                            >all over
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                                            49.
                                            >body itch.
 - 
                                            50.
                                            >thanksIhateit.jpg
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                                            51.
                                            >realise you've basically inhaled the whole blunt
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                                            52.
                                            >the melted feeling turns into a weird "rebuilding" feeling as you look at your hands, blending together and reshaping."
 - 
                                            53.
                                            >shoulder blades are screaming at you
 - 
                                            54.
                                            >thought this shit would make you sleep through the change
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                                            55.
                                            >Scream at dealer.
 - 
                                            56.
                                            >The noise that comes out of your mouth is something mixed between a loud, ugly, orgasm, and the sound equivalent to a dog having it's leg stepped on
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                                            57.
                                            >pretty sure your legs ripped your pants to shreds
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                                            58.
                                            >yell at dealer to "fucking do something!" in a voice that grows increasingly feminine as your swollen body parts shrink, ripped clothes becoming baggier than you're used to as you roll on the couch.
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                                            59.
                                            >pretty sure your dick is gone.
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                                            60.
                                            >accidentally throw yourself off the couch.
 - 
                                            61.
                                            >hit the back of your head
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                                            62.
                                            
 - 
                                            63.
                                            You are dreaming.
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                                            64.
                                            Calm.
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                                            65.
                                            Your dancing with a cute pony to a very lively recording of swing music playing out of a record player.
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                                            66.
                                            Your wings flap with the rhythm a bit every now and again.
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                                            67.
                                            She smiles at you.
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                                            68.
                                            You smile are her.
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                                            69.
                                            You kiss each other on the dance floor.
 - 
                                            70.
                                            
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                                            71.
                                            >You Wake up
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                                            72.
                                            >the dealer is a man of culture and has you loosely bundled up in a soft blanket.
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                                            73.
                                            >slowly push yourself up.
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                                            74.
                                            >Claws.
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                                            75.
                                            >paws.
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                                            76.
                                            >long tail.
 - 
                                            77.
                                            >This is your brain on GRFN
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                                            78.
                                            >Dealer notices your awake
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                                            79.
                                            >helps you off the couch
 - 
                                            80.
                                            >walks along side with you to a mirror propped against a wall in another room.
 - 
                                            81.
                                            >You look like some mix between a Snow Oil and a Persian cat.
 - 
                                            82.
                                            >kinda nice.
 - 
                                            83.
                                            >Dealer picks you up.
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                                            84.
                                            >carries you back to room with couch
 - 
                                            85.
                                            >you both chill there for hours.
 - 
                                            86.
                                            >third dude brings burger king
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                                            87.
                                            >chill with fries.
 - 
                                            88.
                                            >sleep over at bowling alley
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                                            89.
                                            >for the first time in forever sleep without an ounce of depression or existential fear.
 - 
                                            90.
                                            >wake up next day as your old self
 - 
                                            91.
                                            >shake hands with dealer while saying thank you.
 - 
                                            92.
                                            >agree to another meeting
 - 
                                            93.
                                            >go home
 - 
                                            94.
                                            >watch pony show.
 - 
                                            95.
                                            >for first time in a very long time
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                                            96.
                                            >All is right with the world.
 
                         by emmens
                         by emmens