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Anon gets his own comic and makes a gay fri...

By hotkinkajou
Created: 2020-12-31 14:17:16
Expiry: Never

anon safe /rgre/caramel

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Transfered over from https://pastebin.com/senUaypx
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Originally published OCT 24TH, 2015
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> Another day, another bit.
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> You've just finished repairing the plumbing at Quills and Sofas.
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> Pipes leading from the water boiler rusted through and started leaking scalding water.
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> Owner shouldn't have been so cheap when she got the plumbing done.
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> Her loss - more work for you.
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> The owner left your pay and bonus with the salespony.
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> That's a nice development.
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> Apparently, word around town was that you do a good job, and everyone trusted you already.
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> Now it got even better. Maybe you'll get to work without anyone breathing down your neck!
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> Nothing makes a job more miserable than a micromanaging customer.
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> Anyway, this was your last job for today.
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> Collecting the money, you head to the market. Groceries aren't gonna get themselves.
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> Plugging pony leaks and climbing on their roofs wasn't something you dreamed of, but at least you did something useful.
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> And you were good at it. Some mare even said so.
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> "Are you sure you don't have a constructuion cutie mark?"
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"I wouldn't call myself a cutie, and I'm not hiding any mark, ma'am."
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> "Oh, aren't you a quick one!"
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> Apparently, you reshingled her roof so good, it looked as if the tree never collapsed on it.
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> She was rather old, so she probably wasn't hitting on you. She also didn't gawk when you took off your shirt while on the roof.
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> Some pegasus did. Oh she did it, she did it so hard she flew into a tree.
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> And would you look at that!
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> Thinking about your life situation is almost as good as having a music player! You're there and you haven't even noticed.
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> Or maybe the town is just tiny.
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> You scan your surroundings, looking for the stalls you need.
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> It seems that you will get everything you need today. Even the eggs...
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> Some random stallion meets your gaze and recoils.
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> Huh.
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> What's his problem?
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> And now he's talking to himself.
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> Now he's looking at you and... blushing?
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> ...
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> Better deal with this before too late. Probably another new pony in town, scared of the resident predator.
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> As you start moving towards him, he... lights up in joy?
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http://imgur.com/56dh5d9
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> Huh?
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"Can I help you?"
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> "Oh, don't mind me, I'm just, really glad to... see you here!"
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"So what's your problem? And you do know my rates? 20 bits per hour plus the parts. I'm not cheap, but I know how to leave a customer satisfied."
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> The colt forgot how to breathe. You sure weren't cheap, but you also got the job done much faster than ponies. He should know that, right?
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> "Erm.. sir! I, I'm not sure I need anything.. I just wanted an autograph!"
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"An autograph? I know I can fix your plumbing real good, but I didn't know I had a fan club."
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> The colt is mad. Just roll with it.
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"I admit, I've never had to sign an autograph for anypony before. What do you want me to sign?"
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> He stands still for while in stupor, then he starts frantically rummaging in his saddlebags.
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> Moments later, he hands you.. a comic book?
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> "Here, shir! It'sh your lawtesht ishsue!"
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> You take the WonderMan comic from his mouth.
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> "I know, know it's not really of you, but you are the only.. only one of your kind here, and it's, yeah, you were the inspiration!"
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> He stutters like he just met his celebrity crush.
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> So, get lost in the woods, get tortured by fae, then fix some horse shitters, and all you got for this was a character in a comic book?
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> Actually, this is neat!
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> You start slowly thumbing through the comic. WonderMan is fighting some evil plant monster...
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> "If you would sign it for me, oh, the guys will be so jealous!"
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> ...and the plant monster catches him in his vines...
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> "All my coltfriends are reading about you, yes!..."
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> ... your legs don't look like that. The torso is accurate though...
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> "Uh, sir?"
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> Why is this vine entering the WonderMan's anus?
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"Is this smut?"
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> "Uhh..."
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"This is smut. Pornography. I'm in a porno comic?"
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> "... yeah. And a good one too! Pink Palette is a very talented artist!"
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"You and your friends all read this. And like this."
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> He blushed. He fucking blushed.
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> "Very much..."
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> ...
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> You were not prepared for this.
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> "Sir? Could you, could you at least tell me.. Is it accurate?"
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> What?
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"What?"
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> "Your... physique. It's just... you always wear clothes, and you look fabulous! But I really wonder if Pink drew you... accurately"
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> This horse is gay and wants your dick.
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"No. The torso is good, but the legs and everything isn't."
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> Well, he wants to know, not like it can backfire in any way?
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> The stallion is mustering his courage. You can almost hear his effort.
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> "...if you have some free time, maybe you could show me? I don't take customers like you, but... "
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> "...I do know how to leave you satisfied."
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> All of my wat
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> And that hopeful face.
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> Something in your life surely has prepared you for this?
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> Get your shit together, son.
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"No. I'm not gay."
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> "What do you mean?"
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"I'm not interested in males. I'm flattered and all, but try your luck with someone else."
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> "Oh. I saw how you looked at the comic, I understand... I can bottom, if you want to!"
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"No."
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> He is deflating like a balloon. You almost feel bad.
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> He looks up at your face and starts backpedaling.
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> "Oh, ok, I understand. You're different, and that's okay. And and I don't think bad of you because, because you're bent!"
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"Did you just imply that there is something wrong with me?"
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> He gulps.
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> "No! I understand. You only like mares, you don't want stallions. Ok! You're bent. There is nothing wrong with that! I, I have a friend who is bent!"
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"Am I supposed to?"
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> "No, you are your own free... human! I can't tell you who to be..."
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"Look, colt, I'm new here, and you get to enlighten me. What's the norm?"
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...
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> And he does.
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> A gay horse explains you the horse birds and the horse bees.
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> He almost looks normal by the end of his lecture.
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> All the horses are gay. Bi, that is.
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> Why hasn't anypony explained it to you before?
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> Yeah.
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> Well, at least this means easy threesomes for you, right?
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> Always look on the bright side of life!
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> Yeah, that's a good idea
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"Hey, look on the bright side, kiddo. At least now you have an alien friend."
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> "Friend?..."
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> You really should work on your facial expressions, the ponies are skittish as is.
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> Poor thing probably thought you were going to murder him.
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"Yeah. You sure helped me out here, something my "welcome committee" forgot to do. And I got the impression you and your coltfriends are pretty tight, so you'll manage without me, right?"
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> "Right!"
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> Your new gay horse friendo seems to have remembered something important.
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> "...oh, Anon, I've completely lost track of time! I really need to get to my relatives, the Apples are expecting me. I don't want them to be worried, so I've got to move!"
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"I work for the Apples sometimes. I'll see you around town."
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> "See you later, Anon!"
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> You've got your groceries, and now you have a gay friend!
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> Take that, dirty tumblr SJWs!
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> [spoiler]Oh how much would you give to actually see another human face here..[/spoiler]
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> [spoiler]No matter who they are or what they believe![/spoiler]
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> [spoiler]Even a nigger would do[/spoiler]
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> Oh.
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> The other stallions you know are probably all gay too.
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> You're really checking your privileges here, Anon!
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> And even if you didn't like the subject, that Pink palette sure can draw.
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> Like how she did your mighty torso...
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> ...
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> How does she know how you look under your clothes?
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> You've only stripped for doctors and to bathe!
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> ...and just once you took of your shirt when you got too hot on the job.
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> Is it a coincidence, or do you have a stalker?
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------
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Stealing all kinds of neat ideas from FiMfiction:Xenophilia