This is my last pigeon

By hotkinkajou
Created: 2020-12-31 14:41:23
Expiry: Never

anon safe /rgre/molly cutter

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Transferred from https://pastebin.com/Vi4znrQy
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Originally published SEP 10TH, 2020
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My dearest sister, I may not survive this battle.
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>The unnatural wind is picking up again. Not much time to say goodbye.
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>At least your letter would probably make it home. Your family deserves closure, to know what happened to their alpha.
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The skyrats have been bombarding our position for weeks, softening us up. They stormed us thrice already. Thrice we repelled them.
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We won't be so lucky this time. Not many of us left.
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>Half of the platoon is down, you've witnessed it. During a lull in the bombardment you tried clearing the rubble.
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We are prepared to do what is necessary.
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>The raiders hid in the clouds, and were on you in seconds. Nopony expected them to hide within range.
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I rigged explosives in the dugout. When it swarms with pteros, I'll paint the walls with their blood.
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>Another bomb lands in an empty trench, sending clods of earth flying everywhere.
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Tell my herd I love them. Tell aunt Maggie that I fought to the end. This is my last homing pigeon.
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>You seal the letter and let the bird go.
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>It was time to prepare for the inevitable.
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>You check and double-check all your blades.
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>The saber is as fine as always.
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>You wouldn't need your knife anymore, it is useless in combat.
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>The spade is better.
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>As you are about to put on your mask, one of your slingers comes back.
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"Back from recon? What's the situation, soldier?"
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>"I think it's time for us to go."
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"Have the shells knocked your head loose, Sparky? Where is your weapon?"
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>"But, like, Molly, we don't have much time, it's almost 4 pm!"
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"Shut your mouth and take my saber, Sparky. There is no escape from here. If we run - they will pick us off one by one."
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>But a new, closer thud stops your argument.
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>The ground shakes and the roof of your dugout is tearing open.
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>Force like this, they must have dragged in a hurricane.
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>You are doomed.
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>Nothing can prepare a mare for this.
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>But you are no mere mares, no, you are all Royal Guardsmares, and you never surr--
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"--eeendeeer!"
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>"Ah, Molly here you are! I've been looking for you all across town."
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>It wasn't a combat hurricane, or a monster. It was Anon, your guardian.
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>"Mister Anon! You scared us!"
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"But not me!"
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>Anon laughs. He is obviously laughing at you, but makes it sound like he is laughing with you, and it's h*cking infuriating.
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>"Of course, of course. So presumptuous of me to sneak up on you, probably heard me coming all the way. So, ready for dinner?"
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>You want to buy more time, but your growling stomach thinks otherwise.
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>"I'll take that as a yes. Come on, let's go. By the way, I expected Molly to stick around, but why aren't you home, Sparky?"
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>She straightens up. "It's dangerous, Mr. Anon! We are pinned!" That's more like it, hold yourself like a soldier!
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"Yes, the enemy are patrolling the skies! We wouldn't make it to town!"
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>"I'm sure they'd let you pass if you called out your objective. Dinnertime is sacred tradition, always was, none would dare break it!"
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>SPLAT!
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>Someone dared. There was an adult with you, for b*ck's sake, and her water balloon landed just shy of you three!
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"Hey, Eve, cut it off! Off-game, off-game!"
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>Another balloon overshoots several yards.
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>Then another balloon hits Anon in the back, soaking him completely.
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>Oh, that is it!
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"What the h*ck, Eve? You think you can fly away from this? Come back you little sh*t!"
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>The violator, understanding what she had done, decided to flee.
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>Anon shook off. "Relax, Molly, it's just some water. I'm fine."
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"You will pay for this! I saw your mark, you little yellow-bellied filly, you mangy sky rat, you WARM KIDNEY STONE!"
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>Silence reigns.
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>You process what you just said. Uh-oh.
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>Your friend looks at you with pity. If her fathers found out that she said what you just said, her rump would be in for a whoopin'.
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>But Anon would never do that!
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>Of course not!
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>Probably...
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>Though, after what you just said you wouldn't completely rule it out.
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>You look at him, and he's doing it again!
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>He is obviously laughing at you, but makes it look like he is angry, but trying not to be, and it's infuriating!
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>"Wow! Young lady, you are going home before you say anything else you might regret."
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>Having said that, he picks you up.
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>Normally that would be emaresculating. You'd rather die than get caught being carried like a filly!
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>But today, Sparky stands at attention, paying you respects.
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>"You can continue in the evening after you all cool down."
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>"No, Mr. Anon, we can't, we have extra homework for tomorrow because we all failed the test last week!"
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>No-no-no, why did you mention it! Betrayal after betrayal!
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>"Extra homework? Okay, make sure you do it! Bye!"
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>He walked off.
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>Neither of you said anything for a while.
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"Do you have extra homework too, young lady?"
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"S..fine"
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>"I don't think I quite heard you."
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"I said it's fine, it's just a stupid geography quiz..."
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>"Why didn't you pass it the first time, what, no epic battles happened in the region?"
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"Prance is stupid and nopony wants it, alright?"
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>"How about this: we will practice together..."
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"Fine..."
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>"...and if you do well, then maybe I should tell you the stories of Hannibal later."
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"Why should I care about this Hannibal?"
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>"Oh, I don't know, he was famous for many victories, they didn't call him 'the Father of Strategy' for nothing..."
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"Really?!"
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>"Yes, really. So we go home, eat your dinner, study, but right now make a sad face because you're being punished."
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"P-punished? How?!"
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>"For your potty mouth... you get double hot sauce with your stew!"
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>You scrunch up the saddest face known to ponykind, but can barely contain your grin.
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>Today is going to be awesome!
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>One day you will marry Anon!
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>...
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>What the h*ck?
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>No, he is way too grown up!
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>One day you will find the place where they make Anons.
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>You will break in, all red and armed, and steal an Anon for yourself.
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>And all your days will be as awesome as this.