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Kiteman

By FF
Created: 2021-04-12 12:04:14
Expiry: Never

anon twilight sparkle starlight glimmer safe comedy spike /glim/

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Post number/s: 30434094; 30434203; 30434283; 30434293;
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Original author: Anon
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“Urk”
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> You stumble around your bedroom as you try to fit yourself into the bright green jumpsuit.
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> You’ve considered giving up and just dumping the stupid thing into the trash more than a few times, but every time something stops you.
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> That look on her face…
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> You frown.
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> Sucking in your gut, you squeeze into your costume.
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> Your balls feel like they’re being manhandled by the pony version of Satan.
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> Evil hooves manhandling your family jewels sounds just about right.
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> After a few quick adjustments – aka ball repositioning – you make your way to your mirror and marvel at the thing of beauty that is you.
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“Hmm, not bad~” You say as you scratch your chin in a fancy manner.
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> Grabbing your goggles, you think about what Glimmer reaction to all this would be.
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> Your face contorts into a ‘villainous’ grin as you slap on the eye gear.
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“She’s going to loves this.”
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> You nod to yourself and step out of your bedroom.
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> With a skip in your step, you walk out of your house and begin to make your way towards a certain crystal castle.
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> Sigh.
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> You flop onto the table.
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> The stack of papers by your side wobbles around for a bit before collapsing upon your head.
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“Siiiigh”
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> You warm up your horn and magic the papers back into a neat pile.
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> Be Starlight the stupid.
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> Upright Twilight caught wind of you using magic on yourself and she grounded you for it.
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> Well, grounded might not exactly be the right word to use here.
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> You turn your head and glare at the pile of assignments that your “mentor” gave you.
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> Angry pony huffing sounds.
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“Huff!”
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> You smack them away with your hoof.
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> A sad frown forms on your face.
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> According to Twilight, you really had to learn to not use magic to force solutions to your problems.
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> She said it never works out in the end.
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> Those are blatant lies.
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> You know for a fact that Anon loved it when you used that spell.
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> He booped your nose and everything!
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> You groan.
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“Today is going to be a long day.”
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> You take one more look at the mess of assignments lying on the floor.
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“Or more like week” you grumble.
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> Thump. BAM!
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> Just then, the door to the study slams open, and standing in front of it is Anon, wearing a green and yellow jumpsuit.
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> He stands there with one hand on his waist and the other waving his cape around in what you can only describe as a ‘billowing’ manner.
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> The sight has you at a loss for words.
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> You wanted to ask Anon what he was doing but he begins to speak before you even have the chance to.
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> “Dear Starlight Glimmer! It is I, KITEMAN! I am here to whisk you away from your drab and dreary confines and take you on a villainous spree of mischief!”
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> Each word out of Anons mouth sounds absurdly theatrical and loud.
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> And with that, another pose is struck.
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> It takes you a moment to put the pieces together, but when you do, you can only laugh.
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> Lighthearted giggles escape you as you look upon Anon and all his glory.
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> Anon is such a goof, but he’s a cute goof.
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> Obviously this is his very own way of cheering you up.
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> It really is sweet.
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> You can only imagine how hard must have been for him to find a costume in his size and for him to walk around in public like that.
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> He even dressed up as your favorite superhero from those ‘BADMAN’ stories of his.
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> Anon is doing all of this for you.
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> You can feel your heart jumping in your chest and those special little butterflies fluttering away in your stomach.
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> You can’t help but smile.
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> Anon went through all the trouble of setting this up for you.
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> There’s no way in Tartarus that you are going to let all his good intentions go to waste.
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> Time to play along.
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“Kiteman! It’s the REAL Kiteman! I’m your biggest fan.” You say with all the enthusiasm and energy of Pinkie Pie.
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> Like a young schoolfilly, you skip towards the masked hero excitedly, hooves clicking against the crystal floor as you do.
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> Anon grins his signature goofy grin as you approach him.
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> “And you are my favorite pony, Starlight! Prettiest of them all.”
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> He bends down and gives you a hug.
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> You hide your blushing face as you hug Anon back.
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> Just for that comment you make sure to hug him extra tight.
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> The hug only lasts for a few seconds.
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> Anon releases you and stands back up, shooting you a ‘thumbs up’ as he grins.
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> You roll your eyes at him.
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> Him and his human things.
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> You can feel yourself smiling from ear to ear.
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> The silliness and sweetness that is Anon is exactly what you needed today.
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> It’s nice knowing that there’s somepony that cares for you as much as Anon does.
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> “Okay, let’s get going dear pony girl. We have a town to terrorize!” Anon exclaims, interrupting you from your train of thought.
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> Upon hearing his words, you instinctively frown and look back at the stack of papers behind you.
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> You just remembered that you were still ‘grounded’.
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> Anon takes notice of this and lays his rough hand on top of your head, rustling your mane with his fingers.
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> “Don’t worry. I had a little chat with the Princess. She said it was okay.”
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> You pause for a moment.
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> A soft smile makes its way to your lips.
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> He broke character there for a second, but you didn’t care, you were way too happy right now to take notice.
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“If that’s the case, then what are we waiting here for? Let’s go An… Kiteman!”
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> You hastily trot past Anon and through the door.
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> If someone saw you then they’d think that you were trying to run away from your work.
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> And they would be absolutely right.
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> Anon follows behind you as you skip towards the front door.
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> “Of we go Glimmer!” He yells out.
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> You laugh.
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> You laugh loud and without care.
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> You had no clue what Anon had in store for your today, but whatever it was it was going to be fun.
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“A date with Kiteman” you giggle to yourself as you rush out the door.
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> Be Spike.
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> Watch a superhero ask Twilight if he can take Glimmer out on a date.
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> Watch a superhero nag Twilight into submission after she says no.
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> Watch said superhero run off with Glimmer to who knows where to do who knows what.
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> You shrug nonchalantly and continue sweeping the floor.
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“Why are things always so weird here in Ponyville?” You ask the empty castle halls.