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Anon's Saucy Adventure Pt. 3

By Greggums
Created: 2021-10-24 10:18:34
Expiry: Never
anonymous/aie/crossover/jojo/lily longsocks

  1. 1.
    Originally Published November 16th, 2018
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >NOW…
  4. 4.
    >You (Anonymous), your stand「GREENSLEEVES」 and Lily Longsocks are frozen in place on the grass, darting glances between each other and the bee hovering a few inches from your face
  5. 5.
    >As you lay there, more bees start to float into view, some of them passing over you and moving towards Lily
  6. 6.
    >And despite the fear you feel, you force yourself to observe the bee and take in as much detail about it as you can
  7. 7.
    >The bees are oddly colored, but they otherwise look just like any other honeybee you’ve seen. Although, they don’t seem to have an-
  8. 8.
    >"ORA!"
  9. 9.
    >A metallic hand rockets into the bees by your face, sending them spinning off into the grass
  10. 10.
    >「GREENSLEEVES」 croaks with terror and surprise and disappears, but not before causing a torrent of spaghetti to flood out of your pants pockets
  11. 11.
    >"Anon, move!” Lily shouts, biting the cuff of your pants as she pulls you away from the incoming swarm of bees
  12. 12.
    >The insects hover over the spot you were lying in, and a strange fluid drips from their bodies and onto the pasta below
  13. 13.
    >As the enemy stand begins to hum once more, you and Lily run deeper into the park
  14. 14.
    1/
  15. 15.
     
  16. 16.
    >You lean back against a tree, your lungs burning from the sprint
  17. 17.
    >Lily and 「BANISHED」 stand nearby, her ears pricked and listening for the tell-tale humming of the stand
  18. 18.
    >"Bees.”
  19. 19.
    Yup.
  20. 20.
    >"A stand made of bees.”
  21. 21.
    I told you, Stands are weird.
  22. 22.
    >Lily turns towards you, keeping her stand on the lookout for the enemy
  23. 23.
    >"So, what? We sprint to your house and grab some flyswatters?”
  24. 24.
    >You slide down the trunk of the tree to the ground, resting your arms on your knees
  25. 25.
    Good idea, but I’m not sure that’ll work. These kinds of stands are usually less…connected to its user than ours are. They could be anyone, anywhere in the town.
  26. 26.
    >"So, we’re doomed, and we don’t even know who wants us dead. Great.”
  27. 27.
    Well, no. Not necessarily. We just need to figure out who we pissed off in the last few days, and odds are they’ll be our guy. But who? I don’t even go out that much…
  28. 28.
    >You rest your hand on your chin, thinking deeply
  29. 29.
    >Maybe Twilight? Nah, she forgives way too easily.
  30. 30.
    >Lily closes her eyes to think, using her bandaged hoof to rub at her mane
  31. 31.
    >"Wait a second….didn’t those bees go after your pasta on the ground?”
  32. 32.
    Yeah. And my shoe, come to think of it.
  33. 33.
    You both continue to think in silence
  34. 34.
    >After a moment, her eyes snap open
  35. 35.
    >"The stallion who runs the toilet store! I broke his toilet and now he wants to kill us.”
  36. 36.
    >Lily starts laughing, colored by a blend of humor, relief, and realization
  37. 37.
    >"And! And you left pasta on the broken toilet box too! And he's using that to have his stand follow us!”
  38. 38.
    >She’s right. You did leave a heaping portion of sauced noodles right on top of the box
  39. 39.
    >But something about this just isn't adding up for you
  40. 40.
    >"Good going, Anon! He’ll definitely get a great story out of this, huh!?”
  41. 41.
    2/
  42. 42.
     
  43. 43.
    >Wait a second...that's it!
  44. 44.
    I know who's attacking us!
  45. 45.
    >"So do I, it's the toilet seller!" Lily manages to speak through her desperate laughter
  46. 46.
    >But you shake your head
  47. 47.
    No, it's-Okay maybe I don't know who it is exactly, but I do know it isn't him.
  48. 48.
    >"And how do you know that?"
  49. 49.
    Because he works in retail.
  50. 50.
    >Lily's laugh dies in her throat as she glares at you
  51. 51.
    >「BANISHED」 turns around to glare at you as well
  52. 52.
    >"Is this a joke?"
  53. 53.
    Have you ever worked in retail?
  54. 54.
    >"I've never worked at all. I'm twelve."
  55. 55.
    "Well, I have worked in retail," you respond, doing your best to nod sagely, "And I can tell you he's dealt with much worse. Now!"
  56. 56.
    >You place your hands back onto your knees, pushing yourself off the ground
  57. 57.
    I don't know about you, but I noticed something mighty interesting about those bees.
  58. 58.
    >You listen for the sound of a swarm of bees appearing coincidentally as you say the word "bee"
  59. 59.
    >Silence
  60. 60.
    >The user has probably lost track of you two for the time being
  61. 61.
    >*CLAP "Hey!"
  62. 62.
    Gah!
  63. 63.
    >"Stop spacing out! What's interesting about the bees?"
  64. 64.
    Ah, well, I noticed that they didn't have any eyes.
  65. 65.
    >Lily freezes, her hooves still held together in a clapping motion
  66. 66.
    >"That's what you found interesting? Not, I don't know, razor-blades for wings or tiny swords for stingers?"
  67. 67.
    Well yeah. I mean, it means the bees are using either sound or smell to find us.
  68. 68.
    3/
  69. 69.
     
  70. 70.
    >The last word drools out of your mouth as you focus on the leaves on the ground by Lily
  71. 71.
    >Lily catches your glance and follows your eyes to the small pile of leaves
  72. 72.
    >The topmost leaf, a crunchy dying brown, is folding inwards on itself
  73. 73.
    >You place a finger over your lips, quietly telling Lily to be silent
  74. 74.
    >She nods, holding her distance away from the leaf as it continues to fold and deform
  75. 75.
    >The stem flattens out before filling up into a rounded shape
  76. 76.
    >The veins of the leaf snap free and wrap around each other into six small cords
  77. 77.
    >The tip of the leaf folds lightly, before expanding like the stem and settling to its new shape:
  78. 78.
    >A bee, just like the ones that were chasing you before, and part of the mysterious user's stand
  79. 79.
    >The stand hovers for a moment, as if testing its new wings against its weight, before slowly flying towards you
  80. 80.
    >Aimed directly at your face
  81. 81.
    4/
  82. 82.
     
  83. 83.
    >The bee continues towards you, still alone, still slowly
  84. 84.
    >「BANISHED」 begins to move towards you as well, but you raise your hand, telling Lily to wait
  85. 85.
    >The stand continues on its slow flight
  86. 86.
    >As it nears your face, it makes a sharp turn upwards, and you turn your head to follow it
  87. 87.
    "What the hell", you mutter, breaking the silence
  88. 88.
    >Embedded in the tree, roughly a foot above your head, is a pebble
  89. 89.
    >The leaf-bee lands on the surface of the stone, prodding at it with its antennae
  90. 90.
    >You and Lily exchange looks with each other, then back at the bee, buzzing slightly as it walks about the pebble
  91. 91.
    >It halts for a moment, turning its antennae upwards, moving them around wildly as if trying to catch a scent
  92. 92.
    >And then snapping them still, it points them towards Lily
  93. 93.
    >And then, much quicker than when it approached, it flies back down to the pile of leaves
  94. 94.
    >As the bee lands on the pile, the rest of the leaves begin to crease and fold
  95. 95.
    >And dipping your hands into your pockets, you smother them in a family-sized portion of noodles
  96. 96.
    That should buy us a little bit of time.
  97. 97.
    >You turn around and examine the pebble carefully
  98. 98.
    >The lack of strange carvings or symbols tell you that it's not a stand arrow, but a strong feeling in your gut is telling you that this pebble is connected to the enemy's stand....somehow
  99. 99.
    >Checking back on the bees, you can see a honey-like fluid start to ooze out from between the noodles
  100. 100.
    Alright Lily here's the plan. I'm gonna yank this pebble out of the tree, and you make sure the bees stay away from us.
  101. 101.
    >"You sure that's a good idea?"
  102. 102.
    Nope. But there's something odd about this rock and I'm gonna find out what.
  103. 103.
    >With Lily on guard, you grab the rock between your fingers, pulling it out...
  104. 104.
    5/
  105. 105.
     
  106. 106.
    >...Pulling it OUT
  107. 107.
    HRRRGGGHH!
  108. 108.
    >A slight buzzing behind you starts to fill your ears
  109. 109.
    >"Would you mind not having a stroke right now?!" Lily barks at you
  110. 110.
    I'm not having a stroke! It's just this rRROCK is really lodged in here.
  111. 111.
    >You tug against the rock with all your might, and it still refuses to budge
  112. 112.
    >The buzzing of the enemy stand grows louder, but you focus on the rock instead
  113. 113.
    How the hell did a rock even get in a tree in the first place?
  114. 114.
    >"MOVE!"
  115. 115.
    >You feel something heavy and hard catch you in your side and send you flying away from the tree and the bumblebee stand
  116. 116.
    >While also knocking the wind out of you so forcefully that you're surprised your lungs didn't fire out of your throat like airbags
  117. 117.
    >Thankfully, the grass and dirt was there to break your fall after your brief trip through the air
  118. 118.
    >You prop yourself up, bruised and wheezing, to see your spaghetti explode from about fifty feet away
  119. 119.
    >"How many abilities does this stand have?", you think to yourself
  120. 120.
    >But before you can ponder further, your question is answered by a small horse to the face
  121. 121.
    >"This hurt a lot less in my head." Lily groans as she falls to the floor
  122. 122.
    Funny, it hurts a lot in mine.
  123. 123.
    >You help Lily stand up, using her as a brace to bring yourself up as well
  124. 124.
    >The enemy stand swarms around the tree you were in front of, crawling and flying over every inch of its trunk
  125. 125.
    >"So what do we do now?"
  126. 126.
    Well, it seems to locate things based on scent. And we can distract it with strong scents like my spaghetti.
  127. 127.
    >"And your shoes."
  128. 128.
    ...right.
  129. 129.
    >You make a mental note to start washing your feet more, assuming you don't get blown up
  130. 130.
    But I don't get why they're so interested in that tree though. I don't remember ever touching a rock.
  131. 131.
    >"And that boulder I threw was WAY larger than that."
  132. 132.
    >Wait...
  133. 133.
    6/
  134. 134.
     
  135. 135.
    >Before you had Lily test her strength on the large rock, she had kicked a pebble into the distance
  136. 136.
    >Was that pebble the same one that was stuck in the tree?
  137. 137.
    >It certainly would explain the bees' interest in both the two of you and the pebble
  138. 138.
    >But how would Lily react to knowing that? She's been rather testy today
  139. 139.
    >Well, testy for the full two days you've known her
  140. 140.
    >And she didn't exactly seem tickled when she thought the hardware store guy was after you
  141. 141.
    Okay Lily, I'm going to level with you.
  142. 142.
    >You take a knee and place a hand on her shoulder, which 「BANISHED」 forcefully sweeps away
  143. 143.
    Right. I don't know this stand's range, so there's a good chance that if we run, it will be able to follow and kill us.
  144. 144.
    >Peering past Lily's mane, you can see the stormcloud of bees making their way towards you
  145. 145.
    But something is telling me that the stone in that tree has got something to do with this stand, and I'm too weak to pull it out on my own.
  146. 146.
    >The flapping of millions of tiny wings grows steadily louder as the stand gets closer
  147. 147.
    So we're going to rush our way back to that tree, and while I drown them in pasta, you yank the rock out of that tree.
  148. 148.
    >Lily turns to look at the encroaching apiary of destruction, then back towards you
  149. 149.
    >The look on her face is a mix of fear, anger, and anxiety
  150. 150.
    >"And you're sure this will get whoever it is to leave us alone?"
  151. 151.
    >Nope
  152. 152.
    Absolutely.
  153. 153.
    7/
  154. 154.
     
  155. 155.
    >"Fine."
  156. 156.
    >「BANISHED」 reappears, scooping you and Lily up in its good arm before breaking out in a sprint
  157. 157.
    >The buzzing gets louder as the gap between you and the enemy stand closes
  158. 158.
    Okay! Now, if you circle around the stand I can drop a few piles of spaghetti to distrACK-
  159. 159.
    >Your neck whips forward as 「BANISHED」 leaps through the air, heading directly towards the enemy stand
  160. 160.
    >Numerous bees smack into the back of your neck as the two of you cut a direct path through the swarm
  161. 161.
    >"THE BEES! ONE HIT MY EYE! MY EYE! AAAA!"
  162. 162.
    >Lily mashes her hooves into her eyes to deflect the attack
  163. 163.
    >Causing her to hit the ground off balance, and sending the both of you rolling into the small grove of trees
  164. 164.
    >You will a torrent of spaghetti to roar out of your pockets, which gives you some cushion as you crash into one of the trees
  165. 165.
    >Though not enough to keep it from hurting
  166. 166.
    >You roll over, clutching at your stomach, to see where the enemy stand is
  167. 167.
    >And, to your pleasant surprise, it's flying at a comfortable distance away
  168. 168.
    >Not as far as you would have liked, but at least you still have a comfortable margin to-
  169. 169.
    >"ORA!"
  170. 170.
    >*PFINK
  171. 171.
    >Ignoring the pain in...all over your body, you spring up and rush over to the tree with the stone in it
  172. 172.
    >Lily is standing in front of it, stock still, with 「BANISHED」 standing at her side
  173. 173.
    >And the stone in the tree is broken
  174. 174.
    >Where there once was a good sized portion of rock sticking out to grab, you see instead a small sliver of stone could barely be grabbed with two fingers
  175. 175.
    Why'd you d-
  176. 176.
    >"I TRIED, OKAY?!" Her voice is harsh and wavering, and you can see a tear stream down her cheek
  177. 177.
    >You go to put your arm on her shoulder, but she tenses up as you get closer
  178. 178.
    >Almost like she's bracing herself for something
  179. 179.
    >You pull your hand back and sigh
  180. 180.
    >The buzzing of the enemy stand is much louder. It's likely closed the gap by now
  181. 181.
    Hey, hey. It's fine.
  182. 182.
    8/
  183. 183.
     
  184. 184.
    >No it isn't
  185. 185.
    >You are about to get exploded by a swarm of papier-mache bees because you thought it would be a fun idea to train a plucky young kid who broke your house
  186. 186.
    >One could say this situation was far from fine, in fact
  187. 187.
    >You frantically wrack your brain, trying to think of something, anything, from the manga that even remotely matches the situation you're in now
  188. 188.
    >"Morioh", you mumble to yourself
  189. 189.
    >Taking a deep breath, you push off your knees and stand up again
  190. 190.
    >Another deep breath
  191. 191.
    >Thoughts of Yohikage Kira fill your mind
  192. 192.
    >And like his composure during his brief fight against Shigechi's Harvest, you find yourself feeling calm and assured
  193. 193.
    >The buzzing reaches a peak as you walk towards the stand
  194. 194.
    >The bees surround and wash over you, all their attention focused on Lily
  195. 195.
    >You will 「GREENSLEEVES」 to appear by your side
  196. 196.
    You rea-
  197. 197.
    >Almost instantly, your stand sprints off and away from the park, croaking and shrieking in terror
  198. 198.
    -dy...welp. Can't blame him, I guess.
  199. 199.
    >The air whistles around your fingers as your hands race deep into your pockets
  200. 200.
    >You want to run away as well, but you have something stronger than your fear
  201. 201.
    >The squelch of sauce and noodles in your palms strengthens your resolve
  202. 202.
    >You have a borderline autistic obsession with Japanese comic book
  203. 203.
    KILLER QUEEEEEEEEEEN!, you roar out at the top of your lungs
  204. 204.
    >Gripping tightly, you rip your arms up from the depths of your pants, unleashing a torrent of spaghetti upon the grass
  205. 205.
    >The noodles gush outwards, piling up to your shins and filling the air with the pungent scents of basil and garlic
  206. 206.
    >The bumblebee stand continues on, nearing the edge of the grove of trees
  207. 207.
    Oh no you don't!
  208. 208.
    >Bending down, you grab and fling a handful of pasta towards the bees
  209. 209.
    9/
  210. 210.
     
  211. 211.
    >It lands smack in the middle of the swarm, halting their movements
  212. 212.
    >A few scouts flit down, attracted to the strong scent of your stand ability
  213. 213.
    >As they float back upwards to rejoin the main group, you feel a nervous twinge in your gut
  214. 214.
    >This stand has been after Lily the entire morning, and now she's sitting within arms reach
  215. 215.
    >So what if it doesn't take the bait?
  216. 216.
    >The bees twirl and dance around each other, thin strands of their explosive honey dripping onto the grass
  217. 217.
    >You hurl another handful of spaghetti, which agitates them further
  218. 218.
    >And sends them buzzing towards you
  219. 219.
    >The honey is warm as it falls over you, soaking into your clothes and filling the spaces between the fabric and your skin
  220. 220.
    >If you weren't about to be exploded, it would actually feel kinda nice
  221. 221.
    >None of the warmth is lost as it hardens, trapping you in a surprisingly comfortable honey maiden
  222. 222.
    >If Lily's smart, she'll have left by now
  223. 223.
    >Every stand has a range, and this stand doesn't feel like it could travel much farther than Ponyville
  224. 224.
    >As long as she stays out of town, she should be fine
  225. 225.
    >You heave a sigh of relief as you hear the bees start to buzz, making your body shake ever so slightly
  226. 226.
    >It feels almost like a massage chair
  227. 227.
    >If a massage chair killed you at the end
  228. 228.
    >The vibrations grow in intensity, and the pleasant warmth begins creeping up to a sharp heat
  229. 229.
    >If your nerves were sensitive enough, you could even feel as some of your cells began to separate from one another
  230. 230.
    >Who'd've thought that you'd go out like this? You certainly didn-
  231. 231.
    >"ORA!"
  232. 232.
    10/
  233. 233.
     
  234. 234.
    >The buzzing stops
  235. 235.
    >You can feel the honey as it washes away from your body, leaving your clothes slightly damp and sticky
  236. 236.
    >The honey isn't quite as keen to leave your eyes, so you blink a few times to force it out
  237. 237.
    >As the amber fluid drips away, your vision clears and you are treated to a welcome sight:
  238. 238.
    >A countless number of leaves falling slowly to the ground
  239. 239.
    >The stand is gone
  240. 240.
    >A wave of exhaustion washes over you, forcing you to sit down
  241. 241.
    Ok-okay. Lily's smart, she'll know to keep moving. I should be able to get to Twilight's before the stand catches up to her, and then-
  242. 242.
    >"'And then', what?"
  243. 243.
    >You try shrugging, but can only manage a half-hearted movement of your arms
  244. 244.
    Maybe she could use magic on wait.
  245. 245.
    >You turn toward the voice and find a small mauve filly
  246. 246.
    Lily!
  247. 247.
    >A surge of energy beats back your exhaustion, like the sun itself was burning you into overdrive, and you spin around to hug her
  248. 248.
    >Only for her to sidestep
  249. 249.
    >At least the ground feels nice to hug
  250. 250.
    Thifh iph fine.
  251. 251.
    >"I don't do hugs, Anon. And you're welcome."
  252. 252.
    >You pull your face off of the dirt
  253. 253.
    For wh-wait why are you still here? Go! The stand is after you!
  254. 254.
    >Instead of fleeing, Lily shifts her front hoof, kicking something towards you
  255. 255.
    >You brace for impact, not that it'd do much against her strength
  256. 256.
    11/
  257. 257.
     
  258. 258.
    >Only to feel a slight tap
  259. 259.
    ...
  260. 260.
    >"Really?"
  261. 261.
    >A small stone, missing a chunk
  262. 262.
    >"I took a moment and breathed, and I just kind of…pulled it out of the tree.”
  263. 263.
    >She’s not showing it, but you can hear a small bit of pride in her voice
  264. 264.
    >Palming the rock, you peel yourself off of the grass
  265. 265.
    “Well, good shit man. I knew you could do it.”
  266. 266.
    >On your feet again, you give her a playful punch on the shoulder
  267. 267.
    >Which 「BANISHED」 returns with a much harder hit to your stomach
  268. 268.
    KOPHT!
  269. 269.
    >"Thanks”, she mumbles
  270. 270.
    S-HACH-sure. L-let’s head back now, it’s almost nighttime.
  271. 271.
    >”Can we have spaghetti?”
  272. 272.
    >The memory of trouser spätzle makes you gag
  273. 273.
    >Especially since you had planned to go grocery shopping today to avoid eating more of it
  274. 274.
    Well lucky for you, we don’t have much of a choice otherwise.
  275. 275.
    >"Sweet.”
  276. 276.
    >After a bit of strained, sluggish walking, you and Lily make it back to your house
  277. 277.
    >Your home is lit up a flaming orange by the glow of the setting sun
  278. 278.
    I’ve never been more glad to see this crap heap. You go wash up and I’ll get the -hey!
  279. 279.
    >Lily stuck her hoof out in front of you, nearly causing you to trip over it
  280. 280.
    >"Somepony’s inside. Look.”
  281. 281.
    >She points at the kitchen door, cracked open just barely an inch
  282. 282.
    >A light breeze rolls by, making the door creak and sway slightly
  283. 283.
    12/
  284. 284.
     
  285. 285.
    Stay behind me.
  286. 286.
    >You make your way up and push the door open, you and Lily cautiously make your way inside
  287. 287.
    >The kitchen is quiet
  288. 288.
    >The cabinet door slowly creaks open
  289. 289.
    >You grab a knife from the countertop, grasping it firmly within your hand
  290. 290.
    >The noises within the cabinet intensify as you get closer
  291. 291.
    >Readying the knife, you rip the door open
  292. 292.
    >Only for a green, lightly slimy hand to reach out and close it again
  293. 293.
    The hell?
  294. 294.
    >You open the door again and peer inside, and see a light grey hoodie
  295. 295.
    >Connected to two green hands that lunge forward and begin wildly flailing at your face
  296. 296.
    >"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
  297. 297.
    OWOWOWOWOWOSTOP FOR A SECOND YOU AMPHIBIAN FUCK!
  298. 298.
    >「GREENSLEEVES」 stops, pulling its hood up over its eyes
  299. 299.
    >On seeing you, face red from slapping, it croaks contentedly and fades back into your body
  300. 300.
    >"snrkt.”
  301. 301.
    One giggle out of you and we’re having oatmeal and stale crackers.
  302. 302.
    >"You know I could always not fix your stuff.”
  303. 303.
    I could hire a professional contractor.
  304. 304.
    >"Point taken.”
  305. 305.
    Uhuh. Now go wash up while I get the table set.
  306. 306.
    >Lily makes her way towards the bathroom, and you slump down into one of the kitchen chairs
  307. 307.
    >You will 「GREENSLEEVES」 to appear, and it retrieves a pot from the cabinet it was cowering inside of a few moments before
  308. 308.
    >In the span of a few days, you’ve almost died twice, taken on an apprentice/semi-legal laborer, and gained a stand that only seems to be good at domestic work
  309. 309.
    “What a bizarre week it’s been,” you wonder alound to your stand
  310. 310.
    >Well, it could be worse
  311. 311.
    >At least there are no serial killers in Ponyville
  312. 312.
    >Or vampires
  313. 313.
    TO BE CONTINUED…
  314. 314.
    13/13
  315. 315.
     
  316. 316.
    Stands:
  317. 317.
    Honey Bee https://youtu.be/XhAcIuj3o1E
  318. 318.
    User: The Trees of Ponyville Park
  319. 319.
    Power: B
  320. 320.
    Speed: B
  321. 321.
    Range: B
  322. 322.
    Durability: B
  323. 323.
    Precision: B
  324. 324.
    Potential: B
  325. 325.
     
  326. 326.
    Banished https://youtu.be/xFgdIBW180k
  327. 327.
    User: Lily Longsocks
  328. 328.
    Power: S
  329. 329.
    Speed: A
  330. 330.
    Range: D
  331. 331.
    Durability: D
  332. 332.
    Precision: B
  333. 333.
    Potential: C
  334. 334.
     
  335. 335.
    Greensleeves https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgha9S39Y6M
  336. 336.
    Anonymous
  337. 337.
    Power: D
  338. 338.
    Range: A

c: April Fool

by Greggums

Trixie's Machine

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Delectable Scrotum

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Fracture: The Breaking of the Shaft

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Fracture: Anon in Zoo-Land

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