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Originally Published February 16th, 2020
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Zigzag made a discord request and I felt a need to shit on both it and myself. Mostly myself
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https://youtu.be/TZ0FyBGVdu8 (embed)
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>Grey skies blot out the Ponyville sun as you slink into Sugarcube Corner
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>You take up your usual booth in the corner, and the waitress sighs when she sees you
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>You’re Anon, P.I.
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>”More like P.I.M.A.”
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Pinkie. You eat so many sweets and yet all that I see from your mouth are sour barbs.
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>”Yeah, yeah. What do you want, Nonny.” She’s curter than normal today
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The usual.
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>She sighs again. “Coming up.”
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>You always come to Sugarcube Corner when you’re on a case. The sugar gets the gears turning, and the loneliness helps you think. Used to be a lively place, apparently, though no one knows why that changed
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>”Here.” The pink dame slams a tray on your table: two candy bars, and a tall glass of Nesquik
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>“Enjoy.” The words ooze through her clenched teeth like Komodo venom, and she leaves you to head back behind the counter
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Always a pleasure, Pink.
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>Grabbing a candy bar, you unwrap it and start to break it into pieces while ruminate on the case you were assigned
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”Two murders, hours apart, in the local gay bathhouse.”
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>The chocolate bar breaks between words
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“The victims were entirely unrelated. Neither friends, coworkers, nor lovers.”
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>You grab the second candy bar and begin to work on it as well
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“According to staff, it was the first time either stallion had visited the place. And yet, no other new customers met their demise that day.”
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“So why them?”, you murmur as you flick a candy piece across the room
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1/2
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>”Ow! Damnit Anon, again?!”
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>Her rump, firm but yielding, jiggles as the chocolate square bounces off and away into some far corner of the room
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>”Why do I even bother anymore…ow!” Another jiggle
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>The door opens, but you’re too deep in thought to notice
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>”Hiya, ma’am! Welcome to Sugarc-ow! Anon, I swear-No please don’t leave! Damnit…Ow!”
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>Minutes and candy pieces pass with no breakthroughs
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>It begins to rain outside, a gentle pattering against the windowpane
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>On the tray sit empty wrappers, so you heave your briefcase onto the table and open it
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Time to get serious.
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>”whirrrrrrrrr”, the rotor on your RC helicopter revs up, carrying itself from your briefcase and across the diner towards Pinkie
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>It rushes past her face as close and as fast as it can go, and the moll doesn’t so much as blink
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>You send it on another pass. Her eyes look like glass as it speeds past
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Wait a moment...the owner of the golf course played a game with the victims before they died.
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>You bring your helicopter rushing back, trimming the curl from Pinkie’s mane as it races back to your booth
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“Thanks Pink,” you scatter some change onto the table and drown your Quik, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
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>”Just get out.”, she growls
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>As you stand to leave, you spot a candy piece you missed earlier, hidden partially under one of the wrappers
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>Grabbing it, you flick it across the room like all the others
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>”AIE! Anon you bastard!”
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>Hole in one.
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums
by Greggums